Series 01 Part 02: Hughes family correspondence, 3 April 1917-22 September 1918 - Page 551
Primary tabs
Transcription
[Page 551]
[Newspaper clipping]
Sydney Sun, September 1918.
THOSE LIGHTS
Scientists in Conference
What Grubb and Persnurkus Say
Somebody interviewed Dr. Archibald Grubb on the burning, gleaming question.
"I am not a Doctor of Science," he said testily; "I am only a literary browser."
But the interviewer persisted.
"Lights, lights!" Dr. Grubb said. "There are so many. 'The light that never was on sea or land, the consecration, and the poet's dream.' Perhaps some newspaper reporter has seen it at last, though I doubt the possibility. Newspaper men are not built that way."
At this moment Mr. Peter Persnurkus and the Count de Main came in. Mr. Persnurkus had a rosy, springtime look. "Even at my age," he cried, "there is only one light worth talking about. 'The time I've lost in wooing, in watching, and pursing the light that lies in woman's eyes has been my heart's undoing.' "
"No, no," said Dr. Grubb, "they are all celibates at St Patrick's."
Lights of Temptation
The Count de Main was inquisitive. "Does it gleam and gleam like the soft amber in a smooth Chablis?" he asked. "Does it wink with ruby like a bubbly Burgundy? Such are the lights which I have followed. Evil and moist have been the days of my pilgrimage."
"It is a pity that Mr. Hughes is so far away," Dr. Grubb said. "He is an authority upon lights. Possibly that is the light which he followed withersoever it might lead him. But on second thoughts I do not suppose that Mr. Hughes's star shone out from St. Patrick's. We must consult Dr. Mannix on that point."
Mr. Persnurkus asked, "Has anybody tried closing the windows and ventilators in the "Sydney Morning Herald" office? Possibly the scintillating effulgence of that dazzling constellation of journalism shines across the valley of the old Tank Stream and is reflected from the church."
Time Switch Wanted
"At any rate," Dr. Grubb went on, a little impatient of the interruption, "the priests of the church should be careful to keep the facts away from the knowledge of the City Council. If that august body finds that it accidentally supplies an intermittent light on Church Hill, it may order the Archbishop to sign a contract for the installation of a time switch, and the revenues of the faith may then collapse."
"Perhaps the police put the light into the ventilator's pocket when nobody was looking," said the Count de Main, and, he added acidly, "I have never been fond of the police; they disturb me in my simple life."
"If you annoy the police," Dr. Grubb answered, "we may all go to gaol. Away with you and your abominable American ideas."
Where is the Censor
"Personally I wonder what the Censor is doing in the matter, Mr. Persnurkus said. "Apart from the supposition that the lights may be an Irish conspiracy, it is not the habit of the Censor to permit anything illuminating to become public unless it has official sanction."
"What would Will Soak think of it?" Dr. Grubb asked.
"One light has no interest for Will," the Count explained. "He likes Three Stars."
"If all the lights of all the city were turned out, and were turned on again one by one," said Dr. Grubb, "we should solve the mystery and find which electric arc is to blame. That would take us back to the good old days, when there was a general strike every few weeks. Let us all go to the Trades Hall with the suggestion.
Trades Hall Methods
"The Trades Hall would only order a Referendum." Mr. Persnurkus said. "They learned the habit from Hughes. Queer, how imitative they are. Then the Labor Conference would announce a decision regarding the light, and whoever expressed a different opinion would be expelled from the Movement."
"Talking of lights," said the Count, "who's got a match?"
Grubb produced one.
"And have you also a cigar?" the Count asked politely.
Persnurkus obliged.
"Now," said the Count, "the temporary loan of a couple of shillings –"
The meeting broke up in disorder.