John H. W. Pettit letters to his family in England, illustrated with sketches by the writer, 1852-1868 - Page 165
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Secretaryship is mine if I will accept Salary somewhere about £150 I expect this is of course in addition to what I may be able to do at my business £150 is not much out here. I believe I have a good chance of establishing myself, but must make up my mind to remain, settle, persevere and make this country my home. Could not expect to do much at first but lay the foundation for the course I myself intend to pursue.
I need not tell you more than this, you know well enough what I must [indecipherable] do if in business here - money is not to be made by lucky hits thats the chance of not more than one in five thousand. Steady application is the only means by which I ever expect to do any good. Now my next step must be a decisive one and I do want to decide at once. Am continually thinking it over and it worries me not a little. I never know what to do - once fairly settled will be something extraordinary that will turn me again. Am now heartily tired of changing and knocking about and begin to feel most anxious to be really settled down in some line of business. Let me beg you to give me yr candid opinion. Have stated the matter plainly my dear Father and Mother so I know perfectly well you will give me the best advice you can for my good. I must not say which way my inclination and wishes tend. I leave them out of the question altogether. I don't mind working now while I'm able but it will be hard to be obliged to do so when I'm old. I feel I have no time to spare. A year or[indecipherable] more and I shall be drawing near thirty - And what as yet have I really done for myself?
If you can so advise me why Im ready to go back - You know what I can do and what chance there may be for me - It would be a great chance from [indecipherable] Well Dear Father and Mother think the matter over and advise me for the best if it is to stay why I must make up my mind for 15 or 20 years more here I must really do something for myself.
Am afraid Ive perpetuated a little tautology in the above, but I allways get excited when I write on this subject or feel that the words do not convey half what I wish to say = however have say you'll make about =