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[Page 71]
Here EDMUND broke forth –" I will never permit
"Any person to tell me what question is fit ;
"What mortal can know so completely as I,
"Who have study'd the business, what questions apply? –
" In a circle I'll travel, and if you prevent me,
"I'll go and complain to my MASTERS, who sent me."
The PROCEEDINGS of Thursday here came to an end,
And OSBURNE next Tuesday again will attend.
SIMKIN.
SIMKIN, in the CITY of LONDON, to SIMON, on the MOUNTAINS of WALES.
SOME things, which at present 'twere needless to mention,
From the PAMPHLET of BURKE turn'd away my attention;
But now I embrace the first moment of leisure
To comment thereon – and I do it with pleasure.
It seems, Dr. PRICE, a DISSENTING DIVINE,
A countryman, sure, of Aunt BRIDGET's and mine,
Preach'd a Sermon replete with POLITICAL SENSE,
At which, loyal EDMUND took mighty offence.
You know 'tis the ORATOR's mode to express
His thoughts in sublime metaphorical dress;
So he called it – a sort of a porridge, or mess
Of POLITICS strong – and MORALITY weak –
The last, milk and water – the former, a leek.
The Doctor would make our Nobility preachers,
But BURKE does not like to have Mess – Johns for teachers;
So he reasons, with gravity, some hundred lines
Against DUKES and MARQUISSES turning Divines.
As the Groves of Dissent are rough, rugged, and dry,
He admits some improvement might happen thereby;
That the town might be pleas'd with a Marquis's preaching,
For novelty's sake, as they were with IMPEACHING.
After this, EDMUND says – He is loath to acknowledge
PRICE's right to erect an Electoral College
For the chusing of MONARCHS, and, therefore, shall hope
The Doctor will not be ARCHPONTIFF, or POPE;
And that Kings may sit safe on the Thrones they have got,
Whether PRICE's disciples elect them or not.
Then EDMUND triumphantly seems to rejoice,
That the MONARCHY here is not matter of choice :
Then knocks the poor preacher with arguments down,
The DOCTOR, says BURKE, as the reader may see,
In his SERMON, establishes principles three --
1. Their RULERS, the mob, have a right to elect :
2. To cashier for misconduct or any defect :
3. For themselves, a new GOVERNMENT they may erect.
Then BURKE analyzes this new BILL of RIGHTS,
And puts it in many ridiculous lights ;
Concluding, at last, that this grand institution
Is a CLUB or SOCIETY for REVOLUTIION.
Skipping eighty dull pages with haste I advance
TO EDMUND describing the BEGUM of FRANCE.
You must know, that tho' BURKE is near sixty years old
In the sunshine of beauty his heart is not cold ;
And were we to judge from his vigorous pen,
We should think his young days coming over again.
You have read how DON QUIXOTE selected a dame ;
How he languish'd, and lov'd, and resounded her fame !
For he knew that Knight Errantry could not exist,
Unless BEAUTY was plac'd at the head of the list :
In like manner DON EDMUND once solemnly vow'd,
He would still be the KNIGHT of the BEGUM of OUDE :
He fought all her battles, as bound by his duty,
And said all he could in defence of her beauty ;
But as lover too frequently wander and range,
DON EDMUND has suddenly taken a change.
Now leaving the BEGUM – behold him advance,
And brandish his pen, in the room of a lance,
In defence of the present QUEEN CONSORT of FRANCE!
“ Sixteen years ago, or my memory fails,
“ The QUEEN, then the DAUPHINESS, was at Versailles :
"When surely, (exclaims the old languishing DON,)
“ So delightful a Vision, ne'er lighted upon
" This ORB; for her motion and gesture was such,
“ Tho' she trod on the ground, she appear'd not to touch —
" Above the horizon, I saw her appearing,
"The sphere of her movement enlight'ning and cheering;
" Full of joy, life and splendor, the Palace adorning,
"She glitter'd and shone like a star in the morning!"
[2nd column]
But here 'tis a difficult task to rehearse,
The effusions of woe from DON EDMUND in verse;
For all of a sudden, he changes his ditty,
And my eyes are, alas ! running over with Pity.
He tells us, the QUEEN was affrighted, and fled,
One night from her own, to his MAJESTY's bed.
"Oh! how could I dream, that in sixteen short years,
" In a nation of HEROES, and brave CAVALIERS
"In a nation of men, of high primitive honour,
" A disaster like this should have lighted upon her ;
"Ten thousand bright swords I suppos'd, but mistook,
"Wou'd leap from their scabbards to punish a look:
" But, alas ! thus continues the sorrowful DON,
"The age is quite alter'd, and CHIVALRY's gone ;
" Economists, Sophisters, and Calculators,
" Reformers of Kitchens, and Parliament Praters,
" Have succeeded, in spite of my honest endeavour,
" And the GLORY of EUROPE'S extinguish'd for ever.
“ Should Knight Errantry ever go quite out of season,
" And if men should become more enlighten’d by reason;
" Nay, should they proceed on this system of things,
" It must prove in the end inimical to KINGS.
" According to their new sophistical plan,
" A KING on his throne still continues a man;
" And to be but a woman, continues a QUEEN.
" And a woman's an animal apt to be mean."
Thus EDMUND the Empire of Reason denies,
In the doing whereof, he's sagacious and wise;
The interest of B –, reason never promoted,
Then wherefore should he be to reason devoted —
All his life waging war against reason and sense,
To exterminate both, is an act of defence.
From a natural principle, all men oppose,
As well accidental, as natural foes ;
With reciprocal vengeance, men justly condemn,
Whatever may cast a reproach upon them.
There is one thing in BURKE, and I've notic'd it often,
A pitiful tale, or a picture, can soften
His hard twisted heart, but his still harder eye
Can survey real woe, without a sigh.
Two years, my dear SIMON, are scarcely yet past,
Since he gave a strong instance of what I said last ;
* ALEXANDER, tyrant of Thessaly.
And in HASTINGS's case, the worse EDMUND can use him,
The keener his appetite is to abuse him.
Thus we find, gallant EDMUND exact of a piece,
With one ALEXANDER *, a tyrant of Greece,
Who wept at ANDROMACHE's woes in a play,
Yet committed worse cruelties every day.
For the WORLD.
BURKE versus BURKE.
WHEN Mr. BURKE'S Speech on the REFORMATION of the King's Household in ENGLAND, is compared with his late PAMPHLET — a more sublime or beautiful contrast cannot be imagined.
It evidently appears, however, the QUEEN of FRANCE is his favourite, he seems to have a religious veneration for her.
She moves “ like a Vision just above the Horizon!” – “ A thousand swords are to be drawn for her!' – " She is an Angel” – and should have every thing.
For the QUEEN of ENGLAND, a couple of Lemons were quite sufficient. Any thing more than that, was a squandering of the public money.
How is this extraordinary difference to be accounted for?
STRICT JUSTICE.