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[Page 23]
World June 13 1788 [in margin]
[column 1]
And BURKE, to whom nothing's more odious and hateful
Than the Man who for favour conferr'd is ungrateful,
Opportunity found, with large Int'rest to pay
The Compliments back, on the very same day.
One Man had, it seems, the presumption to state,
The IMPEACHMENT Expense was enormously great:
When BURKE in a moment sprung up in his place,
And cry'd, as he star'd the Man full in the face,
"Such stinginess, Sir, would a Nation disgrace.
After all the fine things we've heard SHERIDAN say,
He's a pitiful Wretch who refuses to pay:
Now that Genius has blinded our Eyes with its flash,
Can we look at accounts? Can we sum up our Cash?
After soaring above all the Regions of Sense,
Can we tumble so low as to think about Pence?
Has not SHERRY, this morning, expos'd to your view
All the beauties of Thespis, and Cicero too?
To the BISHOPS he gave an example of Preaching,
To the COMMONS, a model of future Impeaching;
HISTORIANS, hereafter, shall copy his Diction,
And POETS themselves may learn Lessons of Fiction:
RHETORICIANS are taught the arrangements of Flowers,
To the Buskin and Sock he has given new powers:
The PAINTERS may learn finer Pictures to draw,
And the JUDGES new Modes of interpreting Law.
From him may the Orator learn to prevail
By Action and Sound, when his Arguments fail:
The PHILOSOPHER too, may learn Nature to sift;
The ATTORNEY, to cloak a bad Clause with a Shift.
Now since every profession some benefit draws,
I can't think for a moment of starving the Cause!"
No sooner was EDMUND sat down, than a Spark
Arose in his place, and beg'd leave to remark,
"That himself and some others remember'd the day,
When the MAN who so freely votes Thousands away,
For hearing a Speech, or for seeing a Play,
Was once in His MAJESTY'S Kitchen so sparing,
As to limit the Cheese, nay, to Husband the paring!"
And now, my Dear Brother, I lay down my Pen,
Which after next Tuesday I'll take up again.
SIMPKIN.
Independent of the attention which this Writer demands every where, the following Letter we give place to, that it may keep pace with the subject of it.
LETTER V.
From SIMPKIN the SECOND to his Dear BROTHER in WALES.
Mr. SHERIDAN - the Third Day.
DEAR BROTHER,
WERE it not that I fear you would deem it neglect,
Or accuse me perhaps of the want of respect;
I would pass o'er in silence the Speech of this day;
For SIMPKIN, like SHERRY, wants something to say.
The PEERESSES thought there would rise a new Sun,
And that former out-doings would now be undone!
At Six in the morning, 'tis said they arose -
By Eight dress'd their heads; by Nine put on their cloaths -
By Ten took their places in high expectation,
Of seeing this SHERIDAN Act on Oration.
By half after Twelve, or at farthest by One,
The PEERS were assembled - the PLAY was begun.
TWO hours he harangued, but I little remember,
"Save IMPEY and DAVY, and 12th of December."
He describ'd a circuitous string of Suggestions,
And put to the Counsel some very close Questions.
He knew he might safely their answers defy,
Since the forms of the COURT would not let them reply.
As the Sense of his Speech was but ill understood
By myself, I conclude 'twas uncommonly good.
When his Genius inflammable rose to its height,
Like LUNARDI'S Balloon, it escaped from our sight:
And as when some Balloon at his equipoise pitch,
Loses part of its air by the break of a stitch,
The high-flying HERO no remedy knows,
And the Car tumbles down with more speed than it rose:
So the high-flying SHERRY discover'd at length,
That Orators may soar too high for their strength.
For just as his voice was rais'd up to its top,
The Court with surprize saw him suddenly stop.
Then ADAM step'd forward, and said "that his friend,
Was seiz'd with a-a-trifling - and therefore must end."
World June 18 1788 [in margin]
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This accident, Brother, must greatly diminish,
The length of my Letter; and here I should finish,
Were it not that I heard some odd jocular Sparks
Conversing together, and making remarks.
A Trifling! said one, as he laugh'd very hearty,
Has long been the common Disease of the Party.
LORD ----- who's one of your old fashion'd Peers,
That wants to find MEANING in all that he hears,
Said, "that our Orators now, were not fram'd to his taste,
They carry no weight, they're constructed in haste;
And like our Mail Coaches that travel so fast,
Must now and then get an unfortunate cast.
One Gentleman said, "where he reasons on facts,
We find SHERRY dull; but whenever he acts,
In five minutes time he displays to our view,
The Tragic, the Comic, the Pantomime, too:
He added, that all the Great Men of our Nation,
Would adopt a new plan for their Sons' Education;
They find it now useless to lay in a stock
Of Logic, by reading such Authors as LOCKE;
They find graceful Action and elegant Diction,
More powerful than Reason to carry Conviction:
So a new set of Tutors they mean to engage -
The very best Actors they find on the Stage;
Some Master like SIDDONS, whose Pathos excells -
Or whose Lessons shall imitate Nature like WELLS.
And the Lawyers it seems, who attend the King's Courts,
No longer will trouble themselves with Reports.
The Student finds COKE upon LYTTLETON, dry,
And with Johnson and Shakspere his place will supply;
In short, the Old ORATOR'S* answer is true -
"That Action, and nothing but ACTION, will do!"
Here then I conclude, and shall silent remain,
Till SHERRY begins his Oration again.
SIMPKIN.
*Alluding to the Philosopher, who being asked what was the first qualification of an Orator, answered, Action; what the second, Action; what the third, Action; meaning thereby, that Action was enough for an Orator.
June 10.
LETTER VI.
From SIMPKIN the SECOND to his Dear BROTHER in WALES.
Mr. SHERIDAN - the Fourth Day.
DEAR BROTHER, at last I've the pleasure to say,
that the Orator clos'd his Oration this day.
Tho' EDMUND his Chief, who supposes the strength
And effect of a Speech correspond with it's length,
In a whisper observ'd - "Now you find yourself stronger
You might as well speak for a week or two longer."
Thus SHERRY began.- "Much indebted I own
Myself to this COURT, for the favour they've shewn;
My Lords, you'll excuse my again going o'er
The ground I have travers'd so often before;
Your Lordships remember I left off with reading
The Narrative part - and I now am proceeding
To bring from behind the thick mist of confusion
A Fraudulent Friendship, and friendly Collusion.
These things came to light from the reading a Letter -
A private Epistle, and so much the better -
When in private and public we find contradiction,
That Letter which tends to the Prisoner's conviction -
That Letter alone we bring forward to view -
Convinc'd that none else can be possibly true.
The Prisoner, it seems, thought it matter of wonder
That MIDDLETON gave him no part of the Plunder;
That the diff'rence 'twixt him and his Agent was wider
Than that between LYON and Lyon's provider:
That at least it became an obedient Jackal
To remember the Lyon, and not swallow all.
My Lords, tho' we make out no positive Proof
That these were his thoughts, we've Suspicion enough;
And I trust that this Court will give ready admission,
In failure of Proofs, to ASSERTED SUSPICION.
My Lords, there have been many Letters supprest,
Some made for the purpose, and some better drest.
There was one from the NABOB, by which it appears
He wish'd not to take the BOW BEGUM'S Jagbires.
These PRINCESSES had (what our Ladies would think
Not uncommon) a whim for good victuals and drink -
Too long in the habit of cutting and carving,
To relish the Fashion of pinching and starving.