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[Page 51]

When they lost in the latter their ablest Protector,
And were frighted to death at  the coming of HECTOR -
Not all the distress they endur'd in the sequel,
The approaching distresses of ENGLAND can equal.
Oh, BROTHER! those Heroes, whom commiseration
Sent forth as her Knights in defence of your Nation,
Whom zeal for GREAT BRITAIN, and her Constitution,
has furnish'd with Rivers of fine Elocution -
have quarrel'd !  - And BURKE is expected to sever,
in Political Questions, from JOSEPH for ever !
Like Wildfire, 'tis fear'd, this Dissention will run,
And not ENGLAND alone, but the WORLD be undone!

  The Contest arose from a Clash of Opinion,
With respect to the properly placing Dominion:
For BURKE in the SENATE declar'd, he arose 
The Doctrine of JOSEPH and CHARLES to oppose,
Whose Principles, growing still stronger and stronger,
Were so terrible now, he could bear 'em no longer.

  "I discover that spirit of bold Innovation,
"Which must, in its consequence, ruin this Nation;
"And here, in the presence of all, I advance,
"That I never encourag'd the Riots in France."

  Then he hinted, as if he had reason to fear
Some Disorder or other would visit us here;
And seem'd to imagine that one of his friends
Some Change, or some new Revolution intends;
And that, for his own part, he ne'er understood,
That the last Revolution produc'd any good -
'Twas only the change of one Man for another,
Like putting by RICHARD for ROBERT his brother:
He said, though my feelings it horribly shocks,
To think I must leave a fine fellow like Fox,
Although I would sooner be robb'd of a limb,
Than be parted one moment from JOSEPH or him,
Yet should they proceed with a wicked intention,
myself will come forward, by way of prevention.
He of GOVERNMENT spoke, and at last he confest
Aristocracy was, in his judgment, the best.

  Then CHARLEY arose, and  began in Oration,
Disclaiming th' idea of all Innovation;
Lamenting in terms most pathetic and sad
His conviction at length, that the Hero was mad:
" BURKE'S friendship to me is exceedingly dear.
"As it's well known to all you that are here;
"And I freely confess, my Political Knowledge
"Was chiefly deriv'd from the Orator's College.
"Half the learning I have (I with confidence say it,
"Had I Metaphysical Scales, and could weigh it)
"I obtained from attending to his conversation'
"And yet, notwithstanding this great obligation,
"Were he to engage in that criminal measure,
"I say he would greatly incur my displeasure.
"And should he rebel, I, on such an occasion,
(If I could not prevent him by private persuasion)
"Would rise up in arms to repel his Invasion.
"But still, with regard to the two Revolutions,
"With respect to the worst and best Constitutions,
"I differ from BURKE, for I am of opinion,
"Our safety consists in divided dominion.
"And tho' I admit 'tis a very good thing,
"To have a few NOBLES as well as a KING,
"And am willing that they should partake with the rest,
"Yet the share of the Mob should be largest and best.
"As to what I declar'd on a former debate,
"About France, and the things which befel her of late,
"If the fulness of joy were too strongly exprest,
"Twas only HUMANITY stirr'd in my breast."

  Here JOSEPH broke in, and with strong agitation
Began to explain against  Insinuation;
He declar'd to the House, that he could not tell what
Had occasion'd his friend to imagine a Plot;
That with fear and amazement he heard him advance
Strong libels concerning the Patriots of France:
That he needs must acknowledge, the last Revolution
Has giv'n this Kingdom a fine Constitution.

   Here BURKE'S paroxysm grew stronger and stronger,
And his violent tongue could be bridl'd no longer;
In rage he arose, and exclaim'd "Here I sever
"In Political Matters, from JOSEPH for ever!
"An honest and just indignation I feel
"Against people who wish to display the Bastile."

  Here ended the Contest, which some think a  Trick,
And say that the party of EDMUND are sick;
That 'twas artifice made their LEADER condemn,
To prevent his hereafter exposing of them.
But Howe'er it may be, this deplorable Story
GREAT BRITAIN  will rob of its honour and glory;
For, his aid and assistance if EDMUND withdraws,
Oh, who will stand up in HUMANITY'S CAUSE?
With grief I foresee in this horrid defection
All Asia and Britain depriv'd of Protection.
Whilst HASTINGS'S party, perhaps will rejoice,
And already, methinks, their unanimous voice
Declares to the Public, the quarrel of knaves
Is a blessing which frequently innocence saves.
But now, my dear BROTHER, this Letter I end,
And as matter arises, another I'll send.

P.S. I had finish'd my letter and laid down my pen,
When I heard something more of these wonderful Men,
From which, I infer, we may flourish agen.
LORD DERBY, whose mutton's remarkably fine,
Whose Cellars and Vaults are well furnish'd with Wine,
Next morning invited the PARTY to  dine,
The antient and modern PHILOSOPHERS tell ye,
That to soften  the heart you must harden the belly:
So I readily join with HIS LORDSHIP in thinking
That nothing conciliates like eating and drinking.
THEY MET! - and agreed at HIS LORDSHIP'S suggestion
To make a good meal 'ere they handled the Question;
Nor indeed was it fit they should try to explain
Their ideas, before they had temper'd the brain,
With Burgundy, Claret, old Port, and Champagn.
At  half after One, when they all were grown mellow,
And the heart of each MANAGER yearn'd on his fellow;
HIS LORDSHIP th' advantage of concord to teach 'em,
Read part of that scene between LOCKIT and PEACHUM;
Whose arguments, solid, convincing, and strong,
Made 'em cry - "Brother! Brother!  we're both in the WRONG."
So those who last night were so hot and high mettled,
Like LOCKIT and PEACHUM the quarrel have settled;
And now I shou'd hope, without further delay,
In WESTMINSTER HALL they will flourish away,
For the CLERK is prepar'd to go on with his Readings,
And I select from the various proceedings,
The pleasantest parts of their Speeches and Pleadings.

____________

SIMKIN.

______________

This day he is the Harbinger of the  MANAGERS - the HERALD of he IMPEACHMENT - and fortunate will be those, who, with THIS PAPER  in 
their hand, accompany the 
MANAGER  that opens the Charge.

___________________

SIMKIN to SIMON.

___________________

  You say that my friends all unite in beseeching - 
Thus SIMKIN, as EDMUND, goes on with impeaching,
To follow the track HE has long been pursuing,
And to versify all that he's saying and doing:
Oh, SIMON! alas! though I cannot refuse ye,
I fear 'twill be difficult now to amuse ye;
[PLUMBOSO?], than whom ne'er existed a Speaker,
Of ideas more dull, or of argument weaker,
On the COURT is prepar'd to inflict an Oration,
Which may last twenty days, by his own calculation;
But before my new Hero his Speech shall begin,
As you lately requested, I'll shew you wherein
He dissents from HIMSELF, in a mode so capricious,
That I'm sadly afraid you will hold it suspicious;
Nor could aught but his own ipse dixit, prov'd clear,
Induce me to give you its history here.

  You must know then, long since, on a certain occasion,
PLUMROSO employ'd all the arts of persuasion,
To induce INDIA Stockholders not to recal
WARREN HASTINGS, the Governor then of Bengal;
His Speech is too tedious for quoting at length,
So I'll just give a taste of its spirit and strength;
But to do it some justice, I must for the while,
Drawl on in the Gentleman's LEADENHALL Style.

  "There are, said he, Directors here, who strive
"To taint the purest character alive.
"By loose and general Charges, which I trust
"I soon shall prove unfounded and unjust.
"With unsuccessful toil they've labour'd long,
"To find in HASTINGS" conduct something wrong,
"And having views sinister to promote,
"For his recal they've pass'd a general vote;
"In general terms their Resolution say,
"That HASTINGS did our orders disobey:
"That his ambition in broils engage, 
"And complicated wars successless wage;
"Treaties repugnant made to common sense,
"And crush'd the COMPANY with vast expence:

 

 

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