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[Page 69]
In short, EDMUND prov'd, that till HASTINGS'S hour,
Not a mortal once dream'd of despotical pow'r;
That he was the source of corruption and evil,
Whose invention was falsely ascrib'd to the DEVIL:
But LAW with quotations, historic and strong,
BURKE'S conclusions and premises prov'd to be wrong:
That long antecedent to HASTINGS'S birth,
Tyrannical Despots appear'd on the earth;
And that vices and crimes, which were frequent before,
By HASTINGS were crush'd, and existed no more.
LAW intended all this for a clear vindication
Of HASTINGS'S honour, and that of the nation:
Here he brought up the story about DEBY SING,
And said 'twas a shocking iniquitous thing-
On a tale such as that, to dilate and enlarge,
Unconnected with any particular charge-
At a time when the ORATOR perfectly knew,
'Twas a fact to be prov'd, and not known to be true:
And the man, LAW suppos'd, must be wilfully blind,
Or affected with strange aberrations of mind,
Who sixty years old, has not skill to decide,
Between a try'd CAUSE, and a CAUSE to be try'd.
How oft did my CLIENT beg, pray, and insist,
On their adding this CHARGE to their laudable list:
But all his entreaties were useless and vain,
For 'twas easy to say, but 'twas hard to sustain.
'Tis true, as the Commons had voted a score,
They might have increas'd it one article more;
And most people think, 'twere but proper and just,
To enable Defendants to parry a thrust;
But EDMUND well knew, when he form'd the attack,
The advantage of striking his foe on the back:
And that victories great are most commonly carry'd
By blows unexpected, that cannot be parry'd.
As to candour in war, those are fools who desire it,
For dolus aut Virtus quis in horte requirit.
Here LAW, with an eloquence clear and sublime,
Too great and too good for SIMKINION rhime,
Descanted on HASTINGS'S Administration,
And shew'd the vast services done to this nation.
In the course of his reas'ning he made it appear,
By positive proofs, irresistibly clear,
That INDIA was sav'd from our enemies thrice,
By HASTINGS alone, against PHILIP'S advice;
And that being successful, in peace and in war,
Was the cause of his being arraign'd at the Bar.
Indeed, my Dear SIMON, 'tis hard to reject
This conclusion of LAW'S, should the hearer reflect
On the present and former political parts
Successfully play'd by those MASTER of Arts.
Let WASHINGTON speak-let the soft-hearted KATE-
Declare to the world their transactions of late.
After dwelling on this, LAW some documents brought
To show what of HASTINGS the Governed thought-
It appeared to be their universal opinion,
That none was more just and more fit for dominion.
This proof, my Dear SIMON, I needs must confess,
(Nor can partiality scarcely do less);
His name to the top of FAME'S pinnacle raises-
For, lo! how all PARTIES unite in his praises.
As LAW was proceeding with these panegyrics,
I observ'd BURKE endanger'd by rising hysterics;
He wriggled and twisted, before and behind,
Like one who is grip'd, or tormented with wind;
But you'll wonder the less at it, after my telling
That it was the third day of the GENTLEMAN'S swelling:
LAW spoke for three days, and, of course, BURKE was idle-
Fire kindled at last, and his tongue broke the bridle;
The LORDS were as much panic struck with his rage,
As a Keeper, whose Lion's burst out of his cage;
To escape from his fury, they move to adjourn,
And back to their Chamber in haste they return.
For the WORLD.
SHONNY UP REES in Town, to SIMON in WALES.
I concluded with telling how BURKE burst asunder,
And how we escap'd the effects of his thunder;
'Tis surprising indeed how he held out so long,
For the hoops of his patience are not very strong;
Poor MAN! I believe, there can't possibly be
One mortal on earth more afflicted than he;
His PARTY the sentence have pass'd of rejection,
And PITT stands aloft, and avoids the connection:
Thus he, who had long been accustom'd to shock
A MINISTER'S ears with Axe, Scaffold, and Block,
And to scold for six hours at a time by the clock,
Is forc'd in the torments of silence to sit,
And the use of his clapper is only to spit.
The furor loquendi, for want of a drain,
Has scorch'd to a cinder his marrow and brain;
His wounds, foul at bottom, his enemies probe-
A LAZARUS he, but not patient like JOB.
There's PAINE, who in mine and his own estimation,
Is greater than any great PEER of the nation,
Now rais'd to the top of political writing,
With EDMUND of late has been killing and fighting;
The Chivalrous KNIGHT having shiver'd his Lance,
Has yielded to PAINE, the ST. DENNIS of France;
ST. DENNIS now sees his antagonist run,
And crows like a Cock, who the battle has won.
To return to the trial - LAW clos'd his oration,
And PLUMER begun, who is next in rotation.
This PLUMER, it seems, is an able Logician,
And famous for strong Syllogistic Position;
With the eye of a Lynx, he discovers a flaw,
If one has escap'd the discernment of LAW-
His task is to prove, that his Client was right,
And justify'd in the expulsion of CHYTE;
What a number of proofs he adduc'd to evince,
That CHYTE, by inheritance, was not a Prince;
A Zemindar only, whose regalization
Is aged five years, and of EDMUND'S creation.
LAW formerly prov'd, by comparing Extracts,
BURKE histories wrote, and invented the facts.
But PLUMER has proved more miraculous things,
That BURKE is the maker of PRINCES and KINGS.
What's more paradoxical even than that,
He has prov'd BURKE to be an avow'd Democrat;
Who to find out a word to make use of, in lieu
Of Sov'reignty, search'd JOHNSON'S Dictionary through.
Of PLUMER'S deductions I have lost the thread,
By attending to what EDMUND'S partizans said:
Says one to the other-"The charges were penn'd
"Some years before EDMUND was Majesty's friend;
"At a time when he had neither hope nor pretension
"To the favour of GEORGE, or a Gallican pension;
"When no one expected to see him advance,
"And brandish his pen in the room of his lance,
"In defence of the beautiful Begum of FRANCE.
"That BURKE was a Democrat then I allow,
"But that does not prove him a Democrat now.
"He is now an Aristocrat, stable and sound,
"So here PLUMER'S argument falls to the ground."
When the Partizan finsh'd his just observation,
I turn'd my attention to PLUMER'S oration;
I found him engag'd in exposing detections
He had made in his closet, of EDMUND'S selections;
He stated, that BURKE, in the picking and chusing
Of paragraphs fit for his plan of accusing,
Had, some how or other, great numbers omitted,
By which WARREN HASTINGS would have been acquitted.
At the same time he constantly took care to mention,
That he did not impute it to wicked intention:
He is certain that BURKE is no wicked designer,
But a maker of patch-work, or excellent Joiner.
In exposing the parts which the JOINER selected,
And restoring whole sentences he had neglected,
He shew'd how the meaning and sense was estrang'd,
And Innocence to Criminality chang'd.
Then he says, " 'Twas unlucky, that EDMUND should miss
"A sentence so clear, so material as this."
Then away PLUMER hastens to other omissions,
Makes due restorations, and wanted additions;
And whenever he finds something flagrantly wrong,
His look is more grave, and his voice is more strong.