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[Page 66]
"But I said, when I this calculation begun,
"There were pages exactly two hundred and one
"For the Hist'ry of Europe, which if, as before,
"We by fifty divide, we've a quotient of four;
"And, if we require a still closer exaction,
"One, divided by fifty, remains for the fraction:
"From this calculation, it seems clear,
"BURKE is one fourth of Europe, at least, very near.
"This ANNUAL REGISTER is, you'll suppose,
"A Barometer, both for his friends and his foes;
"And the Speeches of JOSEPH, which you thought so fine,
"Are abridg'd and reduc'd to the space of a line;
"And tho' it in length comprehended three days,
"There is not a single iota of praise;
"Which verifies what my old FATHER believ'd,
"That the NATION by JOSEPH was greatly deceiv'd;
"Whose Speech for a while made very great flash,
"But on analization prov'd nothing but trash."
Here one of BURKE'S enemies begg'd leave to note,
That 'twas EDMUND himself who the REGISTER wrote,
Who fancies himself as puissant and able
As the Fly, who sat perch'd on the wheel in the Fable,
And prided himself in the raising a dust-
All laugh'd, and exclaim'd, the COMPARISON'S just.
SHENKIN.
SHENKIN in TOWN, to SIMKIN in WALES.
IF for many Months past I've desisted from writing,
'Twas because nothing happen'd which you could delight in.
However, last Friday, that MAN of the Tongue,
Whose lingual atchievements you frequently sung,
A Speech in the FORUM of WESTMINSTER sported,
In matter exceeding all you have reported:
Thus the HERO begun-"First, permit me to mention,
"That some Gentlemen here have express'd apprehension,
"That I from my subject shall wander away;
"But I trust, for this once, you'll permit me to stray:
"This day we are going to act in conjunction,
"And to exercise freely a very high function;
"But first, we'll examine if our legislation,
"Be a matter of Right, or of mere Usurpation;
"For a new-fangled doctrine of late has been taught,
"Call'd the Rights of Mankind, which a FACTION has brought
"From France, where 'tis now universally thought,
"That no Government can be just, lawful and true,
"Unless all the MOB are consenting thereto.
"So, according to this, we should send to Quebec,
"And ask every OX, if the yoke fits his neck;
"But now I'll examine of nations the law,
"From which all our rights to Law-making we draw;
"All those who by conquest their empires extend,
"New laws may ordain, or the old ones amend;
"So also may they, who come into possession,
"By positive treaties, exchanges or cession;
"And those who the sceptre for thirty years bore,
"Have the right of prescription for thirty years more;
"For the reason now stated, 'tis certain I say,
"That WE ought to govern, and THEY to obey."
Here the Orator made a display of his learning,
And spoke for an hour and upwards, concerning
AMERICA, SPARTA - which last had a KING,
Who said, that he could, like a Nightingale sing;
At last after praising our own Constitution,
He happen'd to fall on the French Revolution;
Whose Assembly, too generous to lay an embargo,
Or monopolize Rights, had exported a cargo
Of Rights to their Islands - a cargo that stocks
All the Islands with evils, like PANDORA'S BOX;
Which brought into action, in battle array,
Black Spirits, White Spirits, Blue Spirits and Grey.
In the course of his speech, our Metropolis Clubs
Receiv'd some hard knocks, and some very close rubs:
Then he told how the good KING of FRANCE was prevented
From going abroad, which he sadly lamented,
From supposing his MAJESTY much discontented.
Here a Gentleman told him he need not advance
His disorderly tales of the MONARCH of FRANCE;
But CHARLES, in a manner extremely provoking,
Began an ORATION sarcastic and joking:
He said, that 'twas competent now for his friend,
Mahomedan Laws to explain and amend;
Or to make a new Code for the use of GENTOOS,
Or CONFUSCIUS'S Works to arraign and abuse:
And either of these, he conceiv'd was a work,
Which would square very well with the talents of BURKE.
Here EDMUND exclaim'd, "I no longer can sit
"Quiet under the lash of the Gentleman's wit:
"Behold! there are men (well deserving of Halters),
"Who, unless they are watch'd, may grow into Revolters."
Then JOSEPH and ST. JOHN, ANSTRUTHER and GRAY,
Bade him prove to the House, what he ventur'd to say.
But EDMUND reply'd. " 'twas a very hard case,
"To be hunted by all like a beast in a chase;
"But, that if the House should be pleas'd to compel,
"All he knew of their plots he was ready to tell;
"And that he would willingly do all he cou'd,
"To make his said Charges substantial and good."
Indeed, my dear SIMKIN, vast numbers there are,
Who hope to see JOSEPH and CHARLES at the bar;
And when for their trial there issues an order,
They expect you'll resume your old post of RECORDER.
Then CHARLEY arose, and began to lament
His disunion with BURKE, as a shocking event;
He said, that tho' none to his bosom was nearer
Than EDMUND, yet still Revolution was dearer;
That tho' other people might prudently fear it,
As long as he liv'd, he should love and revere it:
Some folk I suspect, who much injury mean us,
Strive hard to disseminate discord between us;
For I'm sure that my master, so late in the season,
Would never, without some especial good reason,
So widely depart from each maxim and rule,
Which for thirty long years we have learnt in his School.
However, this much I am free to confess,
And, indeed, in strict justice I cannot do less,
That all my REPUBLICAN maxims and knowledge
I pick'd up in EDMUNDS political College,
When mutual rejoicings we used to express
At WASHINGTON'S Conquest, and ENGLAND'S Distress:
But now my dear MASTER finds other employ,
And wishes to save what he try'd to destroy.
One thing I, however, beg leave to observe-
That when from allegiance the populace swerve,
The original cause lies in Administration,
Who give to Revolters the first provocation:
This apothegm too from my master I had,
So I prove, from his mouth, that our Government's bad;
And that all the crimes, which he charges on me,
Affect Mr. PITT in a deeper degree.
But indeed I must say, that my passionate Master
Too frequently suffers his tongue to run faster
Than his judgment can follow, and risks accusation,
As the Jews did their cash, without due information.
Then EDMUND reply'd, I am pepper'd and salted,
But I never once said my Disciples revolted;
But I think from their praising the French Revolution,
They would turn topsy-turvy our blest Constitution;
And not without reason much mischief I dread,
From the Sermons they preach, and the Pamphlets they spread.
As EDMUND declar'd his prophetical fears,
CHARLES wash'd his black cheeks with a torrent of tears;
And then, after sighing and sobbing a time,
He EDMUND addressed in a language sublime,
And conjur'd his dear Pedagogue not to forsake him,
For being the Scholar he labour'd to make him;
But now, as the House was exceedingly late,
'Twas thought proper by all to - adjourn the DEBATE.
SIMKIN.
SIMKIN in TOWN, to SIMON in WALES.
DEAR SIMON, to WALES tho' I long to go down,
My bus'ness detains me awhile in the town;
And as HASTINGS'S Trial is brought on again,
By way of amusement I take up my pen,
To relate the exploits of those wonderful men.
This day Mr. St. JOHN, by BURKE'S deputation,
In the Westminster Forum let off an Oration:-
Thus began the bold HERO -"My LORDS, 'tis my place,
"As well as I'm able, to open the case-
"But I'm sadly afraid I shall do it much wrong,
"As neither my voice nor my language is strong,
"Yet I'll do what I can, and wherever I'm failing
"In storming and raging, and raving and railing,
"I trust that my friends, when they come to apply
"Our proofs, will abuse him much better than I."