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[Page 35]
'Twas to prove the sum total of HASTINGS'S fees
Amounted to more than three Lacks of Rupees.
He said, that as Ladies of that injur'd nation
Were excluded from view, by their custom and station,
They must have some method of communication.
And 'tis not in Nature, your LORDSHIPS may say,
To block up a Lady, or stop up her way;
And as Ladies can never be false or absurd,
Instead of an oath we may credit their word.
Tho' Ecclesiastical, Civil, and Common,
Tho' no law admits the bare word of a Woman,-
Tho' EQUITY, CHANCERY, always reject it,
The High Court of PARLIAMENT ought to respect it.
If no Rule can be found, we can't possibly take one,
'Tis therefore the MANAGERS' duty to make one.
And since we've no Evidence stronger and better,
Be so good as t'accept of the Dancing Girl's Letter-
Now EDMUND affected to treat as a joke,
The doctrine of Evidence, written by COKE;
And of all the absurdities he ever saw,
The greatest absurdities were in the LAW.
Tho' their LORDSHIPS' decision was certainly good,
As the principle of it was not understood-
He admitted, however, for fear he should wrong 'em,
There was great Understanding and Learning among 'em,
But as they retir'd to their room to debate,
Where himself and Friends have no claim to a seat,
He could not divine, on what basis they built
Their mortal aversion to probable guilt.
As the MANAGERS daily grow keener and keener,
To establish omissary Rules of DEMEANOR;
And to save such a number of music-less Dances,
They at last had recourse to their well-belov'd FRANCIS.
This Gentleman, when he appeared at the Bar
To give some Account of the said NUNCOMAR,
By the Counsel of HASTINGS was suddenly stopp'd,
And I cannot tell why, but the Business was DROPP'D.
MARY ask'd me to tell her the MANAGERS' meaning
In trying to settle new modes of demeaning?
But LUCY conceiv'd the intent of these Rules
Was Improvement of Youth in the MANAGERS' Schools.
By repeated defect BURKE grew peevish and fretful,
And LAWRENCE supposing him rather forgetful,
Was correcting some technical Error in Trade,
(Which he must understand being recently made;)
When BURKE his kind offer, morosely rejected,
And the young CIVIL LAWYER stood justly corrected.
As the Post bell is ringing, the Letter I end,
But another, next week, I shall certainly send;
For as long as the LEADER goes on with his pleading,
I can furnish you always with plenty of reading.
That the ORATOR'S Arguments merit renown,
Is th' opinion of all the News Writers in Town.
POETRY OF THE WORLD.
World June 9. 1789
THE PRINTER is authorised to say - that as the POETRY of this PAPER has been long admired, and as it is trusted that a SUCCESSION of VERSE, as pure, as classical, and as refined, will still continue to distinguish it - it will be annually collected together, and published by
JOHN STOCKDALE, Bookseller, in Piccadilly.
That HE alone, to prevent all spurious Editions from getting abroad, is authorised so to do; and that the publication will commence with the Letters
Of SIMKIN,
REVISED and CORRECTED by their AUTHOR, with Additions.
SIMKIN.
World June 10. 1789.
The whim, the vivacity, and the fluency of this writer, who has not admired? - In the letter below, a new feature of beauty presents itself; and from the line, "I often reflect on those days," through the next twelve, more of pastoral image, or the innocent days of youth, we scarcely ever witnessed.
SIMKIN to his Dear Brother SIMON in WALES.
"YOURSELF and my Cousins are frighted," you say,
"At my silence last week, and unlook'd for delay:"
I promis'd another epistle should follow,
But I promis'd without the consent of APOLLO:
Oh, BROTHER! a cruel disorder invades,
And ELYSIUM invites me to dwell with the shades.
As I lie on my bed in a state of dejection,
I am griev'd to the soul by this dismal reflection,
That if SIMKIN should sink underneath his disorder;
The LEADER of Leaders may want a RECORDER.
Before great EDMUND spoke, in strains sublime,
Liv'd Orators who spoke as long and loud;
Whose names have perish'd in the stream of time,
Sunk in oblivion with the silent croud!
In the cold earth, if it forgotten lie,
What is the indefatigable tongue?
The eloquent and mute alike must die,
If ORATORY'S praise be left unsung.
But if the assistance of WARREN and BAKER,
Disappoint for the present the sad Undertaker;
I trust that the CHIEFS which illumine my piece,
In fame will survive like the Worthies of GREECE.
You ask me, dear SIMON, if EDMUND the nice,
Who, like Jack, rose to combat the GIANT of VICE;
Who declar'd that corruption and base peculation,
Taints ev'ry good Christian that visits your nation:
That all are corrupt in the highest degree,
Except his oft-mention'd immaculate THREE.
You ask me, if EDMUND, these dangers fore-knowing,
Consented to WILL, his dear Relative's, going?
Oh! SIMON! I often reflect on those days
We have spent on the Mountains in innocent plays;
Where from morning till night, 'twas our custom to keep,
So our father commanded, the Runts and the Sheep:
How often with GWYNNY, sweet PHYLLIS, and CHLOE,
In the evening we danc'd on the Banks of the TOWEY.
In those innocent days, but, alas! they are fled!
I never suspected what any one said:
In NATURE'S plain words, in SIMPLICITY'S stile,
We spoke what we thought, we were strangers to guile;
But in this great METROPOLIS, few are so weak
As to SAY what they THINK, or to THINK what they SPEAK.
Here daily-repeated experiment teaches
How the actions of Men disagree with their speeches;
Their language and stile, men adapt to their cases,
As Ladies, their colours, adapt to their faces:
And an Orator's Speech stands in need of adorning,
As a City DAME'S Face does of paint in the morning.
YES, Brother! 'tis an undeniable truth,
Burke sent to the East a most promising youth:
'Tis said, he the Office expected, or got,
Of PAYMASTER to the NABOB of ARCOT.
For BURKE, and his family, most people say,
Are anxious for having to do with the PAY:
Tho' he looks upon gold, as pestiferous trash,
He is partial, it seems, to the counting of Cash.
'Tis written, Offenders we should not condemn,
As perhaps some excuse may be pleaded for them:
It may be, that BURKE'S Nephew was sent to that nation,
To set an example of strange moderation.
So EDMUND and FOX, once were willing to take
ALL THE EAST to THEMSELVES, for HUMANITY'S SAKE!
And lest souls shou'd be damn'd for attachment to pelf,
BURKE consented to take half the sin to himself;
In hopes of effecting the purification
Of Morals, by "leading men out of temptation."
But now, my dear Brother, 'tis time I recall
My attention to that which occurr'd at the HALL;
I expect in your next, I shall find you complaining,
That the business of Thursday was not entertaining;
It chiefly consisted of document reading,
And GREY and ANSTRUTHER alternately pleading:
Of whom in one couplet enough may be said,
The ONE was QUICKSILVER, the OTHER was LEAD.
With HASTINGS'S Counsel they warmly debated,
What evidence should, and what should not be stated?
It seems, the whole strength of their evidence lies
In Questions, and Old MUNNY BEGUM'S replies.
But, it strikes me with wonder, I needs must confess,
When I think of the MANAGERS' laying such stress
On the word of a Woman, a pitiful creature-
As EDMUND describ'd her, "the Outcast of Nature."
Some letters GREY said, "appear'd very unfit
To be read, as their tendency was to ACQUIT;
And here, like their Chief, the Subordinates try'd
To shove in accusations on every side;
For the MANAGING BODY, 'tis fit you shou'd know,
With zeal, and with ardour, all equally glow,
From EDMUND the Head, to SIR GILBERT the Toe.
All equally eager and keen on accusing,
Tho' unequal to FOX in the style of abusing,
And unequal to JOSEPH and BURKE in amusing.