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[Page 61]
He says, he can give no applause to an action,
In the nakedness of metaphysic abstraction;
That GOVERNMENT'S good, and so also is FREEDOM,
According as persons may happen to need 'em.
As to praise the FRENCH Nation, he thinks 'twere as well
To give praise to a MADMAN escap'd from his cell;
Or give praise to a wretch, who his prison had left,
Where he had been committed for murder or theft;
"No, No," - says the ORATOR - "praising such men,
"In me, would be acting DON QUIXOTE again."
Thus much I have scribbled, dear SIMON, in haste,
Of BURKE'S composition to give you a taste;
You will judge of its merit and value, when known
That all this is obtain'd from eight pages alone;
That his Book is a large Magazine, or a store,
Containing near Fifty such quantities more,
All which, at my leisure, I mean to detail,
Unless you forbid - or my PEGASUS fail.
SIMKIN.
World Nov. 11. 1790
SIMKIN, in the CITY of LONDON, to SIMON, on the MOUNTAINS of WALES
THIS wonderful Book, my dear SIMON, imparts
New means of improving the LIBERAL ARTS;
I saw t'other day, as I happen'd to shop
In the street, a new PRINT in a bookseller's shop:
On the left there appeared a most beautiful Dame,
DULCINEA'S rival, or rather the same;
All around the horizon a Glory was spread,
Emanating in streams from the GODDESS'S head;
Underneath, an OLD DON was exhibited kneeling,
Whom TIME had in vain try'd to rob of his feeling,
For CUPID, young rascal, determin'd to scorch
His heart, was come down with his love-lighting torch,
His spectacled eyes were her beauty adoring,
And his wide gaping mouth was her favour imploring;
But the LADY scarce heeding the love-smitten DON,
Appears on the wing, and in haste to be gone:
She runs to get rid of his Death and Despair,
So fast, that she treads upon nothing but air.
The next thing in course, which I must not forget,
Is the scale or precedence, in payment of debt;
According to EDMUND, a bribe or a pension,
Has of all other debts, the first claim or pretension;
And he thinks yon ASSEMBLY was playing the knave,
When they struck off the pensions his MAJESTY gave;
And that they were more fundamentally wrong,
In discharging those DEBTS which were owing too long;
And that he who his cash to a Government lends,
Should his PRINCIPAL forfeit, by way of amends.
Then he tells us, the Catholic Clergy are flooding
All France with their tears, for the loss of their pudding;
Whose right to good living our AUTHOR supposes,
May be fairly derived from a Chapter of Moses.
Then EDMUND directs the keen point of his pen,
To the doctrine of Rights, appertaining to men;
No MARIUS, no SYLLA, no Roman Dictator,
No Tribune, no Tyrant, no grand Devastator;
Not HARRY the VIIIth, that immense Confiscator,
Stretch'd forth in like manner INJUSTICE'S rod,
As France has of late on the Servants of GOD.
But here, my dear SIMON, I ought to relate,
Some things which have past in this neighbouring State.
I seems that French Parsons by stuffing and feeding,
Were too fat and short winded for preaching and reading;
Besides, their high living, as EDMUND confesses,
Had often occasion'd immoral excesses.
Hence, the NATIONAL COUNCIL thought fit to reduce
Their income, and render the Clergy of use;
THEY thought them mere servants, receiving the pay
Of the State, and of consequence bound to obey;
That whene'er with a servant the master engages,
He alone has the right of prescribing the wages;
But EDMUND supposes these shepherds and pastors
Have a much better right to the farm than their masters;
And that the sole purpose of tending their flocks,
Is to make what addition they can to their stocks;
That the CLERGY themselves should, in order to render
The LAITY good, live in very great splendour;
And to give CHRISTIANITY spirit and vigour,
The Priesthood should cut a most capital figure.
Thus he proves, by diffusing his spiritual light,
That JOHN BULL possesses no natural right;
And he gives us at length his decided opinion
That Bishops and Lords should inherit dominion.
But indeed, my dear BROTHER, I question if JOHN
Will relish the doctrine deliver'd by DON;
The Priesthood will favour his new Orthodoxy,
And give him their votes both in person and proxy.
You ask me, by whom was Don EDMUND elected
Chief Justice, and who his Tribunal erected?
I answer-Pray who were Don QUIXOTE'S Elector,
When he glitter'd in arms, distress'd BEAUTY'S protector?
You ask me, what infatuation of mind
Makes EDMUND wage war with the rights of mankind?
By a similar question I answer you still-
Pray why did Don QUIXOTE encounter the mill?
'Tis asserted in terms unequivocal, flat,
That EDMUND look'd up to a CARDINAL'S Hat,
When he wish'd that his young correspondent and friend,
Th' ARCHBISHOP of PARIS to England would send-
And by way of Bravado, and Misery stabbing,
In exchange he would send him a Protestant Rabbin.
Believe me, says EDMUND, we shall not neglect
To treat the ARCHBISHOP with proper respect;
Provided a plentiful baggage he brings,
Full of Money and Jewels, and other good things;
I will guard it so well, if the Prelate be willing,
That the Treasury here sha'nt confiscate a shilling.
Before, for the present, I lay down my pen,
As it may be sometime e'er I write you again,
I shall give you a taste of his Logical Powers,
Instead of a sniff of Rhetorical Flowers.
He says, that the French Revolutionists should,
To render their Government perfectly good,
Derive all the claims, and their instances quote,
From an old race of Ancestors very remote;
And by holding those FATHERS in high veneration,
And with the assistance of imagination,
Ascribe to them Wisdom and Virtue ideal,
Which may serve, for example, as if it were real:
In this manner our great Metaphysical MAN,
For a new CONSTITUTION has settled a plan.
Here then, my Dear SIMON, this LETTER I close,
And, perhaps, I hereafter may comment in prose.
SIMKIN.
SIMKIN, in the CITY of LONDON, to SIMON, on the MOUNTAINS of WALES.
IF SIMON, or any Welch Cousin, expects
My comment in prose on the Knight Errant's text,
I wish them to know that the Work I began,
But was forc'd with reluctance to give up my plan;
For I found EDMUND'S prose with such melody flowing,
That it slid into verse without thinking or knowing;
This circumstance single, abundantly shows,
That DON is a capital POET in prose.
The subject to which I shall draw your attention,
Is the very last page, where the AUTHOR makes mention
Of Himself, and the cause and effect of his writing,
All curious enough to deserve my reciting:
There is little, says BURKE, that can much recommend
This Work to my young Correspondent and Friend,
Except observation attentive and long,
And a judgement that seldom or never goes wrong;
It comes from a person that follows no rule,
Who stoops not to flatter or serve as a tool,
Who wish'd, if he could have contriv'd it, to shun
The departure so wide, from the course he had run,
And belying the whole he had formerly done.
It comes from a man long accustom'd to struggle
For the freedom of others, (which now proves a juggle:)
From one in whose breast no resentment or rage
Maintain'd its possession for more than an age,
Except when the object of anger was such,
As he thought could not possibly suffer too much:
From one who, in concert with other good men,
Has long been employing his tongue and his pen,
Of haughty oppression to lower the pitch,
Reducing to poverty all who are rich;
Who snatch'd from that laudable, good undertaking,
Now and then a few hours, for the purpose of making
Some just OBSERVATIONS on what you are doing,
And to save you from total perdition and ruin:
It comes from a man who would like well enough,
Distinctions and honours, and such king of stuff,
Who, if offer'd, most certainly would not reject 'em,
But who does not pretend any right to expect 'em:
It comes from a man who despises not fame,
Yet fears no reproach, and is proof against shame: