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[Page 27]

Dire Spectres of MASSACRE call up to view,
When they surely might know, NOT A WORD OF IT'S TRUE.
Indeed I must own that I pity the ears
Of their LORDSHIPS the  BISHOPS, and DIGNIFIED PEERS;
I pity the LADIES, so modest and nice,
Who hear all the filthy descriptions of vice.
And which, while the SPEAKERS so lavishly paint,
Some Ladies suppos'd the best thing was -- a feint.
But even for Hastings a something I feel,
Which by chance may be wrong -- but my heart is not steel;
For I see him surrounded, by foes, in his chair,
Who attack him like dogs that are baiting a Bear;
While he's nothing to do but observe what they say,
And expend the NET SUM OF THREE HUNDRED A DAY !

As for EDMUND, who sickens the Senate with prate,
I've not got a doubt but he's crack'd in the pate,
For whether 'tis BEGUMS, or WARS, or THE NATION,
He's sure to come forth with a DAMN'D BOTHERATION,
While his speech is so crowded with tropes, and allusion,
With logick , and metaphor, wit, and confusion;
Is so gay and pathetic, or solemnly deep,
That his FRIENDS run away, and his FOES fall asleep.
A Simile oft I've endeavour'd to find
For this man, but could never get one to my mind.
Yet I think -- he resembles a rusty Conductor
That points to the HEAV'NS but is fixed to a structure;
That hourly contends with the elements' rage,
But a flash of true LIGHT'NING gets once in an age.
Well I trust WARREN HASTINGS has worth to defy all
The bitter attacks of his foes, at his Trial;
That truth, and integrity, plac'd in the scale
'Gainst dark persecution, will ever prevail; --
But hold -- let me stop -- what a race have I run,
Dear SIMKIN ! another ten words, and I've done.

I hope very soon you will send me a letter,
Confirming the news that HIS MAJESTY'S better,
But the STOCKS still informs me, in spite of disguise --
For they fall when HE'S worse; when mends, why they rise;
Yet never before was there such great consternation
Betray'd -- from the dread of a new 'MINISTRATION;
One would think from the general terror, I swear,
That their conduct, and characters, ar'nt very fair.
But of this I know nothing, and heedless of scandal,
I value plan truth in a TURK, or a VANDAL. --

Sure PITT merits praises, in prose and in rhime,
For the stand he has made at this critical time;
And of HIM and his PHALANX we proudly may sing,
For their guard of the COUNTRY, and care of the KING;
Yet stories by some spread abroad of the PRINCE,
A spirit of cruelty rather evince --
For surely, my BROTHER ! it ne'er could have been,
That HIS HIGHNESS each night at the Op'ra was seen !
That he gave himself up to the FOLLIES of FASHION,
And lost in wild riot the TEARS of COMPASSION:
That when thro' the country swift sorrow had run,
The FATHER was pitied by ALL, but the SON ! --
That clubs and gay parties, and music, and glee,
Were the types of that feeling, none wanted but HE, --
That by REGENCY cares not a moment oppres'd.
As usual, he drank, and he sung. and he dress'd;
And mocking  Propriety, grasp'd at dominion,
But scorn'd e'en to flatter the PUBLIC OPINION.

Such stories as these are the work of the Devil,
Contriv'd by the base, for the purpose of evil,
And far other treatment he ought to have prov'd,
As doubtless he wept for the PARENT he lov'd,
In decent Retirement has kept out of sight,
And lost in his anguish the taste of delight;
Has duly consider'd the prospect before him,
And taught all the people t'admire and adore him.
Dear SIMKIN adieu ! I have nought more to send --
But remain your affectionate BROTHER and FRIEND.
SIMON.

[in margin] World March 10. 1789

SIMKIN the SECOND.
The Poetry which has distinguished THIS PAPER, is almost proverbial.  It has formed nearly an ÆRA of VERSE.  Amongst the happiest productions, we have to reckon those of the name above:  And when when he has been happier than now, we know not.

SIMKIN the SECOND,
To his DEAR BROTHER in WALES.
AT length my dear BROTHER, with pleasure I tell Yourself and my friends, that HIS MAJESTY'S well !

The MONARCH whose Sickness his Subjects deplor'd.
By the blessing of HEAVEN, again is RESTOR'D
You remember perhaps, that I formerly said,
'Twas suspected that EDMUND was touch'd in the Head;
Some thought my assertion was matter of sport,
But now all the PAPERS confirm the report;
They describe him one day full of spirits and gladness,
The next like a Spectre, dejected with sadness,
In the BOOKSELLERS' SHOPS, seeking Books upon MADNESS;
At St. LUKE'S and in BEDLAM inspecting the Cells,
To see in what comfort INSANITY dwells.
Till his friends can provide a fit Keeper, they say
He is under the care and tuition of GREY;
Who permits not his Patient to join in debate,
Without feeling his Pulse, to discover his State.
So knowing is GREY, he can tell by the touch,
If EDMUND'S in danger of saying too much;
When his visage grows red, or his pulse becomes strong,
GREY knows if he speaks, 'twill be flamingly wrong:
One day when B--- spoke, and G--- fail'd to attend him,
To the Tower some whisper'd a motion to send him,
But others more tender, lamenting his case,
Thought BEDLAM by far a more suitable place.

You will ask to what cause is his Malady owing?
In this, like yourself, I am very unknowing;
Discuss'd it has been, but as yet undecided,
On this point his acquaintance and friends are divided.
Some say, that his spirits, inflammably hot,
Boil and bubble at times like a SOAP-BOILER'S Pot,
And that the eruptions which happen'd of late,
Were nothing in fact, but the steam of his PATE.
The DOCTORS, to shew their deep learning, explain
That ideas by friction may wear out the Brain;
And compare the inside of the Orator's Head
To an Old Woman's Carding Cloth worn to a thread.
The METHODIST'S say, that his conscience is stung
By his conduct Political when he was young;
But others will have it -- to this very hour,
He would ruin the Kingdom, if 'twas in his power.
The CLERGY believe his Disorder a sign,
Of just Retribution, and Vengeance Divine;
But the major part think, his Finances disjointed,
His ambition all humbl'd, his hopes disappointed,
Have occasion'd a Fever Malignant, and thence
They account for the frequent PRIVATIONS of Sense;
But if it be true, that the MONARCH'S neglect
Of Merit, can cause such a dismal effect;
Were it certain a lucrative Office would cure him,
And enable the COMMONS again to endure him,
We all should solicit HIS MAJESTY'S grace,
And if possible get him a PAYMASTER'S place.

But when you reflect on the wonderful change,
In Political prospects, you'll not think it strange,
That B. should go out of his Mind, or perhaps
If you hear by next Post of CHARLES FOX'S Relapse.
Or of SHERIDAN'S Creditors op'ning their Throats,
Having touch'd upon some most unmusical NOTES.

(This SHERIDAN, Brother, observe, is the same,
Who assunes in the Papers JOE SURFACE'S name,
This last to adopt is henceforth my intention;
Just honor to do to the Author's invention;
He himself gave the Name, and the character drew
As he look'd in his Glass -- So the LIKENESS is true.)

To return -- this TRIUMVIRATE, scarce a week since,
Were coming in Ministers under the PRINCE,
And there can be no doubt but the general voice
Had loudly applauded HIS HIGHNESS'S choice;
For who like JOE SURFACE is skill'd in Finance?
Or can equal CHARLES FOX in the doctrine of CHANCE?
Less judgment it needs in this critical age,
To govern a KINGDOM than manage a STAGE.

That Invention is ever the Daughter of Need,
Is one of those Truths in which all agreed;
And those who beheld the most difficult scenes,
Have quickest conceptions of WAYS and of MEANS;
What exhaustless resources that Genius displays,
Who neither the Interest nor Principal Pays !
Who even additional Credit can get,
From ad INFINITUM increasing his Debt !

Now, since to this Nation her Debts are distressing,
Such MINISTERS must be a NATIONAL Blessing:
And BURKE, when in humour and Office, was fit
To amuse the Young Members with sallies of wit;
With some funny story a laugh to create,
And divert their attention from matters of State.
Indeed I must think, tho' I dare not aver,
ROYAL WISDOM in some points is subject to err,

 

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