Primary tabs
Transcription
[Page 44]
I dreamt I was sitting in WESTMINSTER-HALL,
Hearing EDMUND hold forth - when th' amazement of all! -
(I despair of attempting by language to paint,
For myself, I confess, I was ready to faint -)
When all on a sudden his figure and face,
His old style of RANTING and usual GRIMACE,
Underwent such a change as, tho' wond'rous to tell,
He seem'd as is under the pow'r of a spell,
And utter'd more truth in ten minutes or more,
Than he ever had done in his whole life before .-
For under th' influence of this strange emotion,
He loudly confessed, that the popular notion
Of his having brought WARREN HASTINGS to trial,
From you well know what, was a fact past denial!
For HASTINGS, it seems, counteracted the schemes
Of his brother WILLIAM, in India, whose dreams
For power and for wealth have by that means been cross'd-
A high MISDEMEANOR! and ne'er to be lost!
I wak'd in a tremor, and, if you'll believe me,
Have scarcely recover'd the horror it gave me -
So depend on't, his love for old women you'll find
A tissue of truths, like the rest of his mind.
Bring no Irish imposters and vagrants to me,
Who have toil'd all my life to keep PEMBROKESHIRE free
From these wandering Orators, whose depredation
On our hedges and yards are a shame to our Nation;
And if you don't give up your shocking attachment,
You over the door must soon hang up my hatchment;
And SIMKIN and SIMON will lose their poor mother,
The latter of whom sends his love to his brother.
MARGARET.
World Aug: 31, 1789. For the WORLD.
AUNT BRIDGET in LONDON, to her NEPHEW
SIMON in WALES.
DEAR SIMON, since closing the Trial this year,
To the loss of the Town, and relief of each Peer;
Since the MANAGERS forc'd their long tales to postpone,
Have left India's distresses, to think of their own;
Since ADAM, late truant to Coke and to Blackstone,
To decoy the rare Brief has resum'd Robe and Caxon,
And despairing, reserv'd for a time somewhat distant
Writing copies out fair from the Penman's Assistant;
Since silenc'd by fatal adjournment, no more
FOX distils Law and Logic from every pore;
Since BURKE, interdicted, nor hisses nor howls,
Both SIMKIN and I are grown moping as Owls.
Consign'd to dull apathy, languor, and sloth,
(Our poetical talents wrapt up in a cloth)
We grieve that delay should its Sabbath devote
To our Rhymes, and to MONTAGU'S thread-bare dress-coat.
This respite perhaps might for HASTINGS be meant,
As a short-liv'd recruit when his spirits were spent;
As your adepts in baiting, great care always take
To release the torn Bull, 'ere quite dead, from the stake.
Be that as it may, it was shameful to stop
E'er his patience was drain'd to the very last drop;
When the Town all agog, long'd for father abuse,
And ANSTRUTHER still had so much to produce.
However, tho' these mighty men of renown
Have ceas'd for a while to enliven the Town,
The Town, while their merits and toils it repays,
Has hir'd a new D'URFEY to chant forth their praise:
And to prove what amusement this Trial still yields,
Take the following Ballad I bought in Moorfields:
And as each City feast brings a new one to light,
I shall send you another the next time I write.
A SONG.
To the ANACREONTIC TUNE.
TO the COMMONS assembled, once BURKE and his Clan
Represented, with superabundance of diction,
That they all should grow dumb - aye, by G -, to a man,
If prevented from using their talents at fiction.
Though PITT were too wise to waste time in replies,
He ought not to lay an embargo on lies:
So they begg'd he'd permit them at least to impeach-
'Twas indifferent whom - so they had but their speech.
PITT nodded assent. - BURKE immediate look'd round
- For a Victim on whom to concentrate their rage.
Thought he, how courageous and grand it will sound,
To worry the first, choicest men of the age.
An Eagle ne'er tears ought but lambs, fowls, or hares,
And disdains on vile vermin to pounce unawares:
So let's fly at high Game, and the higher we reach,
The greater our glory will be to impeach.
There's RODNEY, the pride of this Nautical Realm,
Who has spread o'er whole Oceans his conquering sail,
While valour and wisdom directed his helm,
And Victory's breath superseded the gale:
LANGARA'S wreck'd Fleet, and DE GRASSE'S defeat,
Establish his fame and his triumph complete:
That triumph we'll tarnish, that Conqu'ror we'll teach
To strike sail to our flag, when his fame we impeach.
Immortal GEORGE ELLIOTT next came in his eye,
Whom firm on his Rock, not the World could controul:
Like the great Syracusan, who ventur'd to cry,
Give a spot for my foot, and I'll manager the Pole.
The Man whom all Spain has assaulted in vain,
And exhausted her force both on Earth and the Main;
When to reap mature Laurels he lands on our Beach,
With a batt'ry of Bomb-sounding words we'll impeach.
While thus in Satanic effusion of mind,
With a Basilisk's ken he was fixing his Prey;
And pumping invention fit weapons to find,
Fate threw a more exquisite Chase in his way.
As at Athens, the Shell was contriv'd to expell
Those magnanimous Souls who had acted too well;
So merit enshrin'd beyond Calumny's reach,
Was effective persuasion, with BURKE to impeach.
The Man he selected, his venom to spit on,
Thro' the Universe wide for bright conduct was known:
The Saviour of India, the Bulwark of Britain,
When her Empire itself, sat convuls'd on its Throne.
On the moment BURKE cry'd, when this wonder he spy'd,
Give me HASTINGS to maul - I renounce all beside;
O! for once, let me bend, and the Commons beseech,
This Monsters of Monsters with me to impeach.
The Commons, who dreamt not how far malice went,
To silence a Bedlamite mouthing at large;
Relunctantly gave an extorted consent -
BURKE instantly furnish'd whole volumes of Charge.
And now for two years he has weary'd the Peers,
With bawdy, buffoonery, blust'rings, and sneers;
And to his lorn Patient sticks close as a leech,
Determin'd as long as life lasts to impeach.
SIMKIN.
World Sepr 3. 1789
They must be much deficient in taste, who find themselves not rejoiced at the renewed Correspondence of this prolific and pleasant Writer.
SIMKIN in LONDON, to his BROTHER SIMON in WALES.
No subject occurring, as food for my Pen,
On P-R, I reluctantly comment again.
There is one thing, indeed, I omitted to mention,
Well worthy of your's, and all writers' attention:
As the principal object of all Dedications,
Is attainment of friends by well-tim'd Adulations;
And as he who is eager to serve his own ends,
Can ne'er have two many well-wishers and friends;
When he brings out a work, 'tis an excellent plan,
Into Books to divide it, as much as he can.
For each Book, a Patron he ought to select,
And to praise him much more than he well can expect.
This fashion the DOCTOR led up in his work,
Bestowing a Book on NORTH, CHARLEY, and BURKE;
And having some firkins of Butter to spare,
And supposing his Patrons more DRY that a Hare,
Their skins with his grease he dripp'd, larded, and basted,
'Till in streams it ran down, and he fear'd 'twould be wasted.
Yet profuse as he was, 'twill hereafter be found,
His Butter will bring a good price by the pound.
My stomach was turn'd, I grew rather unwell,
So affected was I by the sight and the smell;