Primary tabs
Transcription
[Page 29]
SIMKIN.
World April 39. 1789.
This AUTHOR forms what Fashion would call "Rage of the Day." He is read and admired every where.
SIMKIN the SECOND to his DEAR BROTHER in Wales.
Last WE'NSDAY, DEAR BROTHER, I went to the COURT,
Expecting from BURKE a renewal of sport;
Where, like others, I found myself much disappointed
By the Orator's faculties being disjointed.
The cause of his illness I wanted to find,
And heard many whimsical reasons assign'd:
Some said the disease was increas'd in his head;
Some said he was drunk, and lay stretch'd on his bed;
Some thought he was seiz'd with a fit of the vapours,
At some thing that morning in one of the papers --
That a certain GREAT PERSONAGE meant to insist
On expunging his name from the COUNCELLORS' LIST.
Being thus disappointed, I hasten'd away
To ST. STEPHEN'S, to hear what the COMMONERS say:
There I found MAJOR SCOTT, by Petition, was trying
To restrain able Speakers from wilfully lying;
But if BURKE'S not allow'd to say more than is true,
He'll furnish no matter for writing to you,
And I must, of necessity, bid you adieu.
When EDMUND recover'd, the PAPERS gave warning
Of his speaking again the next Saturday morning;
So I went to the Hall, and resum'd my old station,
Expecting another most brilliant Oration --
But alas! my dear Brother, you must not accuse
Me of Dullness this day, if I fail to amuse;
For BURKE, tho' he spoke for three hours, or more,
Only travers'd the ground he had travers'd BEFORE.
His language was beautiful, vastly sublime,
And I wish I could do it strict justice in rhime:
He drtew a strange picture of HASTING'S diet;
Of his feast on disgraces, of his infamy, riot.
In Corruption, the Prisoner's delight is to lie,
And "in excrement wallow, like pigs in a stye."
"To your LORDSHIPS already it must have appear'd
With Corruption the Prisoner's all over besmear'd;
With corruption this HASTINGS is cover'd so thick,
When I see him, my stomach turns suddenly sick:
The disease of Corruption has been so neglected,
The COMPANY'S Settlements all are infected;
Not HASTINGS alone is corrupted, but all
Who breathe the PESTIFEROUS AIR of BENGAL !
Yet tho' 'tis so bad that I cannot endure it,
I fear 'tis impossible ever to cure it.
We have no direct proof of Corruption, 'tis true,
But in failure of that, strong Presumption will do.
Corrupted he was by the Dancing Girl's treat,
And you can't have forgotten the Dinners he eat.
Two hundred pounds sterling , this gluttonous sinner
Three months unremitting eat at a dinner;
But thing at which I am so highly offended,
Is the manner wherein the large sum was expended:
No part was expended on music or singing,
On Dancing Girls, Illuminations, or Ringing;
No friend ever tasted the milk or the honey,
'Twas a feast of Corruption, a FLOW OF DRY MONEY,
To a desert, a jungle this TYGER withdrew,
To prey on the victim his avarice slew.
"But, my LORDS, if this circumstance is not enough,
I'll give you another, to strengthen the proof: --
When his much honour'd Colleagues in Administration
Accus'd him of Bribery, and Peculation,
Their President would not submit to his trial,
Nor confession of guilt would he make, nor denial;
Instead of exposing himself to conviction,
He disputed their power, and usurp'd jurisdiction."
Here EDMUND a number of reasons assign'd,
Why HASTINGS the Honour of Trial declin'd;
Why as yet the DIRECTORS no answers had got,
Whether NUNDCOMAR'S Stories were founded, or not.
(Here 'twas whisper'd, that EDMUND to state had omitted
That HASTINGS conceiv'd himself fully acquitted;
For to NORTH, or Directors, if doubt had appear'd,
By one question alone, every doubt had been clear'd.--
No scruples remain'd, but from frequent Election,
By minister, Parliament, and the Direction,
All loudly proclaim'd to the World their opinion,
And conferr'd upon HASTINGS extensive Dominion.)
Now EDMUND, more loudly returns to his cry,
Of "Presumption, Conviction, and HOG in a STYE."
Not a man ever went to that infamous place,
Bt is deeply involv'd in this Culprit's disgrace,
All, all -- HIS Accomplices, wicked and base.
I do not, however, said EDMUND, intend
To include PHILIP FRANCIS, my worthy, DEAR Friend,
Nor his honest Associates; but barring these Three,
They are all KNAVES or ROGUES, in the highest degree.
And indeed, my dear Brother, you cannot but think,
That so much Corruption must horribly stink;
And believe me, I smell it whenever I meet
An Indian NABOB, as I travel the street.
The Nobles, I trust, will this season recal
Their Relations and SONS, from contagious BENGAL;
What a horrible thing, if such base peculation,
Were imported from thence to an innocent Nation !
Three hours and a half on this subject alone
The Wit of the Speaker resplendently shone:
He resembl'd a Colt, in his circular lunging,
Now walking, now trotting, then kicking and plunging !
In like manner did BURKE run his circular Race
Two days, without changing or shifting his place:
"Tis an excellent Pad ! as your Horse-Dealers say,
That can pace on a Trencher, the length of a day."
If this can a merit in ORATORS be,
'Tis BURKE's all allow, in exalted degree:
On PRESUMPTION, CORRUPTION, the charges he rung,
Till at last it exhausted, and wearied his tongue.
He said he had more than half open'd his Charge;
That his friends would hereafter, explain and enlarge.
With this declaration their Lordships were struck,
And thought themselves born to exceeding good luck,
That they should be Peers in such turbulent times,
Of enormous long Speeches, IMPEACHMENTS, and CRIMES;
When Speakers, like Bruisers, make trial of strength,
And the WORTH of orations, depends on THEIR LENGTH.
'Tis reported, dear Brother, that some of the Peers,
Who think they can't live a vast number of years,
Direct that their SONS, should the Trial attend,
That their Titles and that may together descend.
I observ'd that though EDMOND was frequently dry,
No Bottle appear'd -- but I cannot tell why.
I took notice of something more strikingly strange,
To his CORPS, his behaviour has suffer'd a change:
His Language this day was more gentle and mild,
And he spoke like a Father addressing his Child;
But before, when he spoke to his humble Adjutors,
'Twas the stile and the manner of Ushers and Tutors.
As he finish'd, it struck me, FOX shrugg'd up a shoulder,
And GREY shew'd his teeth, on being call'd -- BOTTLE-- HOLDER.
SIMKIN'S former Letters on the subject of Mr. Hastings's Trial, arte noe [rinted com[plete in Quarto, and may be had at BELL's British Library, Strand, price 2s. 6d.
SIMKIN.
SIMKIN the SECOND,
To his DEAR BROTHER in WALES.
You remember last season, that JOSEPH foretold,
With a spirit prophetic, that EDMUND the bold,
Would one day or other th' IMPEACHMENT condemn,
And declare to the COMMONS 'twas owing to them;
That he ever was HASTING'S friend in his heart,
Though compell'd to accept of a Manager's part.
I thought such a change could not possibly be --
JOSEPH knew him, however, much better than me;
It seems that they swindled him into the taking
Of a part, which he is on the verge of forsaking.
But I cannot conceive at what people are aiming,
By the present circuitous mode of disclaiming.
I said in my last, that the MAJOR was trying
By Petition, to lay an embargo on Lying;
This was owing, I find, to the Orator's quoting
Some Articles not of the Commoner's voting;
Misdemeanors they voted, but EDMUND went further,
And in two or three instances charged him with Murther !