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[Page 39]
And it's also expected, that ERSKINE and GREY,
As Readers or Speakers will figure away;
For great is the task they have taken in hand,
To throw on it's back all the LAWS of the LAND.
And now, my Dear Simon, I hope you'll excuse
My dullness this time if I fail to amuse;
The LADY who formerly us'd to assist,
To recal to my mind any point that I mist;
To whose good understanding, sound judgment and taste,
I submitted the lines which I scribbl'd in haste;
Who expung'd all the parts she consider'd unfit,
And their places supply'd from the stores of her wit,
To CHELTENHAM has fled! -
And further, still further - I am told she is going,
Impell'd, I suspect, by the ambition of showing
To MAJESTY, which from the height of it's station,
From EDMUND and FOX never heard an oration,
Their mode of declaiming - in her IMITATION;
For the MONARCH himself, 'tis on all sides allow'd,
Of subjects like them, may with reason be proud;
ROME boasted of TULLY-DEMOSTHENES, GREECE;
But which of those orators left us a piece
Of eloquence equal to EDMUND or FOX,
When they sport their dark browns in the MANAGER'S Box?
As of coming to town it may answer the end-
From your mountain sublime I would have you descend,
And see Mrs. WELLS, who will give you your Brother
So like, that you scarce will know one from the OTHER.
AND now, my Dear Brother, I bid you adieu,
Till EDMUND finds matter for writing to you!
SIMKIN.
World July 1. 1789
FORTUNATE are the MANAGERS that can boast such an Historian - who can make a good Day from no materials whatever! But not less fortunate is that LADY praised below, who unconscious, and at a distance, knows not the FAME she receives.
SIMKIN to his Dear Brother SIMON in Wales.
LAST WEDNESDAY, dear BROTHER, I went to the HALL,
But, as matters turned out, for just nothing at all.
For indeed, you must know, in the scriptural way,
"The beginning and end made the whole of the day."
But some Metaphysical People pretend
That it had no beginning, and yet had an END.
This point I must leave to your EDMUND and FOXES,
Who can easily make and expound paradoxes.
To speak in plain terms-it came out as expected,
That the evidence offer'd was also rejected.
Then a motion was made by a dignify'd PEER,
That the JUDGES of ENGLAND be ask'd to declare,
From what principle or what construction of LAW
This decided opinion they learnedly draw?
That moment the CHANCELLOR mov'd to adjourn,
And back to their CHAMBER their LORDSHIPS return.
'Twas expected, that BURKE would have made an attack,
But the Lords for some cause did not choose to come back:
Perhaps they were weary of bowing and scraping,
And so seiz'd the occasion at once of escaping:
But BURKE means it well - as a CURE for the GOUT:
And makes them - as Physic - go in and go out.
But those LORDS, who like BURKE, are ambitious of soaring,
And of heights unattain'd have a zeal for exploring,
Or wish for a ride in LUNARDI'S Balloon,
To visit the man who inhabits the Moon:
Those LORDS to whose lot such high qualities fall,
Like me, have their BONUM in WESTMINSTER HALL.
But to shew you, Dear SIMON, in what estimation
All classes of people hold EDMUND'S oration;
To what Countries far distant his glory is spread,
Wherever the WORLD and my Letters are read -
From DUBLIN, dear DUBLIN, ten Citizens came,
From WATERFORD six, CARRICKFERGUS the same,
From LIMERICK seven, and nearly as many
From the town and the country surrounding KILKENNY;
From the Highlands of SCOTLAND the Lairds and the Thanes,
From SKY the M'DONALDS, from MULL the M'LEANS,
Are expected in town in the course of the week -
For once in their lives to hear eloquence speak,
The Gallery tickets were in such demand,
And promises given so long beforehand,
That Wednesday, MISS BRIDGET, our delicate Aunt,
For want of a ticket was stopt in her jaunt:
She, who long was accustom'd to purr like a CAT,
To find fault with this-to be angry with that;
Is now so affected, so smitten with love,
That she cooes to herself, like a mate-seeking dove.
Whether waking or sleeping, or sitting or walking,
Of BURKE and IMPEACHMENTS, she's constantly talking.
And it is my opinion, I give you my honour,-
She will die, unless EDMUND has pity upon her.
The Gallery Strangers, who came from afar,
Who had never heard EDMUND declaim at the BAR;
Whose minds were inflated with high expectation
Of hearing the ORATOR make an oration;
With faces extended with grief and with shame,
All went to their lodgings as wise as they came.
I consol'd them by saying they need not be vext,
As BURKE'S to harangue us at Meeting the next.
And as he by accident rested so long,
His fancy and tongue will be lively and strong;
And CHARLES, who is said to have came from a flaw
On a GODDESS, begot by a DOCTOR of LAW;
Who a long time has study'd each Specie and Genus
Of Laws in the Courts and the Temple of VENUS;
And SHERIDAN too, it is thought will unbridle,
Or they'll lose all their fame by remaining so idle.
And it's also expected, that ERSKINE and GREY,
As Readers or Speakers will figure away;
For great is the task they have taken in hand,
To throw on it's back all the LAWS of the LAND.
And now, my Dear Simon, I hope you'll excuse
My dullness this time if I fail to amuse;
The LADY who formerly us'd to assist,
To recal to my mind any point that I mist;
To whose good understanding, sound judgment and taste,
I submitted the lines which I scribbl'd in haste;
Who expung'd all the parts she consider'd unfit,
And their places supply'd from the stores of her wit,
To CHELTENHAM has fled!-
And further, still further-I am told she is going,
Impell'd, I suspect, by the ambition of showing
To MAJESTY, which from the height of it's station,
From EDMUND and FOX never heard an oration,
Their mode of declaiming-in her IMITATION;
For the MONARCH himself, 'tis on all sides allow'd,
Of subjects like them, may with reason be proud;
ROME boasted of TULLY-DEMOSTHENES, GREECE;
But which of those orators left us a piece
Of eloquence equal to EDMUND or FOX,
When they sport their dark browns in the MANAGER'S Box?
As of coming to town it may answer the end-
From your mountain sublime I would have you descend,
And see Mrs. WELLS, who will give you your Brother
So like, that you scarce will know one from the OTHER.
AND now, my Dear Brother, I bid you adieu,
Till EDMUND finds matter for writing to you!
SHENKIN.
World July 2. 1789.
SIMKIN, like DELLA CRUSCA, has made a School of his own. It will be amongst the best boasts of THIS PAPER - that the WORLD gave them to the Public, and will continue, as it has done, to form the Poetic Taste of the age. The Verse which follows, if we err not, comes from a hand that has written some of the best Prose and the best Verse of this Country.
From SHENKIN in Wales to his cousin SIMKIN in London.
MY DEAR COUSIN SIMKIN, your kindred in WALES
Are quite overcome with your excellent Tales;
Which have work'd like a charm on your Family here,
And we meet twice a week, who scarce met twice a year.
All the toils, all the pleasures of life are at stand,
Till SIMKIN'S expected address comes to hand;
And proud to partake your poetical flame,
We all strive to strike out a spark of the same.
There's SIMON sits rhyming from morning till night,
Who in Shooting and Coursing once plac'd all delight;
Nay, even your AUNT, has her share of your vein,
And has teem'd with a sweet little Brat of the Brain.
So this must account and atone for my scrawl;
Since your friends are grown Poets, Aunt BRIDGET and all.
Dear COZ', now I've once broke the ice in my way,
I hope you'll excuse what I'm going to say:
I, who never saw LONDON, nor LONDON's strange folks,
May well be supposed a fit dupe for your jokes;
But the devil shall take me, if e'er I could credit
One half what you write, tho' an angel had said it.
Forgive me, dear SIMKIN, altho' at this distance,
I presume not to combat the TRIAL'S existence: