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[Page 30]
When an Orator's Speeches are rapidly flowing,
He must speak some words without thinking or knowing;
Do you think, in the hurry of cutting and slaying,
That we can find leisure for gauging and weighing;
Or pray, are the Managers here to be treated
Like Shylock, whom Portia so knavishly cheated?
Or can a Dissecter so able be found,
As to cut human flesh to exactly a pound;
To cut just one pound, and there instantly stop,
Without drawing blood, without spilling a drop?
If that be your meaning, I freely protest,
(At that moment applying his hand to his breast)
'Tis more than a Catholic Christian can do -
(Then pointing to CHARLEY) or even a Jew.
But, Sir, when the Criminal felt himself pinch'd,
You might have complain'd, had the Managers flinch'd;
Had they suffere'd a cause so important to drop,
Or fall on their heads from the want of a prop.
Let them point out the time, if we have been remiss -
Did we spare him in that? Did we screen him in this?
No, Sir, where the Cause was deficient in strength,
Our Speeches have amply supplied it by length.
But, Sir, 'tis my wish to be fully instructed,
In what manner this Trial should now be conducted,
If when we perceive our own Evidence failing,
We are not to support it by storming and railing?
NUNDCOMAR'S Accusation must certainly sink,
Unless we can prevail on their Lordships to think
That he of his life was unjustly depriv'd,
And that HASTINGS and IMPEY the Murder contriv'd-
But, Sir, If the COMMONS think fit to deny,
Or give Amplification the name of a Lye;
If the MANAGERS' conduct the HOUSE should condemn,
I can prove all I utter'd, proceeded from THEM;
As they heard my Oration, and let me proceed,
They not only approv'd, but committed the deed.
'Tis the COMMONS of ENGLAND, the People at large,
Who HASTINGS and IMPEY as Murderers charge;
When they forc'd me to take the Chief Manager's part,
(An Office I always dislik'd in my heart)
When they coax'd me, and swindled me into this scrape,
(Where they leave me alone, that themselves may escape)
'TIs certain that they, whether waking or sleeping,
Their consciences left to the Manager's keeping-
Mr. SPEAKER, I say 'tis a terrible case,
If I am to be try'd, and expos'd to disgrace,
And stand in my turn in the Criminal's place.
Those who sit in this House, and my person behold,
Must sensibly feel that I'm rather too old;
That life is already too far in advance,
For me now to join in the ludicrous dance:
My legs and my heels not sufficiently light,
To cross over and figure, and turn to the right.
Shall I, the first figure that's seen in the groupe,
Who with dignify'd step have conducted the troop -
Shall I lay of a sudden these honors aside -
For exceeding my duty submit to be try'd?
No, No-to myself I will ever be just,
Though the House should think fit to derive me of trust;
And indeed, 'tis a favour I now have to ask,
To be kindly reliev'd from a difficult task;
But if I am to finish the work I've begun,
And allow'd to proceed as I've hitherto done,
You shall never complain that I'm idle or slack,
Or any wise backward to lead the attack;
You shall soon see the Criminal bare to the bone,
While I tear off his flesh by the sod or the stone;
But if on the other hand I am disgrac'd
In the eyes of all Europe, by being displac'd;
Posterity's praise shall compensate the wrong
Done to me, by those who have known me too long."
But alas! my dear SIMON, in spite of this pleading,
The Commons approv'd not of EDMUND'S proceeding,
And therefore they voted t'appoint him a day,
As perhaps he might have something farther to say;
But EDMUND conceiv'd it was grossly mis-spending
His time and his words, to go on with defending,
So he sent them a Letter, instead of attending.
On HASTINGS and Friends 'twas extremely satyric;
On Himself and his Party, a high Panegyric:
But MONTAGUE, when he had done with the Letter,
An Eulogy made that was stronger and better.
He enlarged on those Talents which EDMUND has got,
And describ'd many Virtues - some say, he has not.
Th' Encomiast concluded his friendly Oration
With pronouncing aloud a stale Latin Quotation:
That BURKE'S Understanding, transcendantly fine,
Grasps all that is Human, and all that's Divine!
You must know, my Dear BROTHER, a notion prevails,
That SIMKIN is not a true Native of Wales.
That SIMKIN and SIMON are old fashion'd Names,
That never a Taffyland Gentleman claims;
But most people think that my Letters are writ
By a DUTCHESS of SCOTLAND, renown'd for her Wit,
And Zeal for the Administration of PITT.
The Question CADWALLADER wants to propose,
"Is JOSEPH or BURKE the best Poet in Prose?"
The next time I attend at the Westminster Forum
It shall be debated Judicibus coram.
And indeed the best Critics are free to confess,
Their Speeches assume a poetical dress.
'Tis thence without trouble, or waste of much time,
I give the contents of their Speeches in rhyme.
Dear BROTHER, adieu; but I'll write you again,
Tho', as matters now stand, I can scarcely say when.
SIMKIN.
SIMKIN.
World May 9. 1789.
This WRITER will, in truth, make WESTMINSTER HALL immortal: and be one existing reason, why all may wish the Trial should last. The felicity of telling with ease the most difficult things, and in Verse, will ever be the Cha-racteristic of this Poet.
AT length, Brother SIMON, the business is ended,
For which HASTING'S Trial was lately suspended.
When the LORDS were assembled, great EDMUND came in
With a Countenance woeful, th' effect of chagrin,
Which put me in mind of the Picture of SIN.
"My Lords, the last time I appear'd at your Bar,
I told you a story about NUNDCOMAR.
I said, he by IMPEY and HASTINGS was hung,
In order to silence his garrulous Tongue.
"They murther'd the Man," was the term that I used,
A Term good enough for the Pris'ner'accused;
But the COMMONS, my Lords, have been suddenly seiz'd
With a Nausea, I find, and are vastly displeased.
Their Consciences tender, can't bear a Transgression
Of TRUTH-and therefore disavow the Expression.
But, my Lords, notwithstanding the COMMONS reprov'd me,
I am proud to declare that they have not remov'd me:
My Constituents, perhaps, may be somewhat disgusted,
Yet still they believe, I am fit to be trusted.
And I soon will convince them by Arguments strong,
That their judgment is neither ill-founded nor wrong.
Tho' I am not permitted to add a New Charge,
On those which I have, I will dwell and enlarge:
Tho' I lower my stile, and new model my Diction,
According to this late invented Restriction;
Tho' of Amplification I'm partly bereft,
I will make the best use of the little that's left;
And here by the by, I've been often complaining,
That the SENATE of late is too fond of restraining;
Should your Lordships ask, why I liberty took,
Of stating a fact that was not in the Book?
The reason is plain, I most perfectly knew,
That HASTINGS would tell you no Credit was due
To the bare ipse dixit of one who was try'd,
And for FORGING a Paper, with infamy died.
I call'd it a Murder, but 'twas at a time,
When I wanted a WORD to distinguish a crime;
Our language is poor, and our words are so few,
Their meaning so weak, that they never can do
For HASTING'S Crimes, so atrocious and new.
I wanted a word just distinction to draw,
Betwixt moral Murder, and Murder by Law;
'Tis a sort of a Murder, that's no where defin'd,
Tho' I've got the idea somewhere in my mind:
But, my Lords, it behoves me to make some excuse,
For the present Apology long and diffuse,
(Here he gave us a spice of his annular speaking,
And Apologies made, for Apology making!
But as soon as the final Apology ended,
And his conduct approv'd by himself, and defended,
He observ'd to the Lords, he had told them before
The Charge was half open'd, or probably more:
That only two days were employed in revealing
What HASTINGS had spent many years in concealing-
But no longer to build on the Grounds of Suspicion,
I now shall make use of the Prisoner's admission:-
In Seventeen Hundred and Seventy-three,
The KING and his PARLIAMENT made a Decree,
'Gainst the Company's Servants accepting a Fee;