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[Page 60]
That as CHARLES by the MOB had been hooted and hiss'd,
And, by MAJESTY'S order, from OFFICE dismiss'd,
On suspicion of too much attachment to pelf,
When he try'd to secure all the EAST for HIMSELF,
He never again can an Office enjoy,
And must dwell in MINORITY, out of employ.
To return:- CHARLEY said, by the PRIS'NER'S commands,
AUMEENS were appointed to settle the Lands,
Which had been once settled by competent MEN,
And 'twas, therefore, a CRIME to examine again:
Then he told us the reason why HASTINGS o'erthrew
Six REVENUE COUNCILS, and made one anew.
This part of the Story I need not go o'er,
As BURKE and ANSTRUTHER have told it before.
Then my HERO return'd, with a retrograde spring,
To the Story BURKE told us about DEBY SING,
And loudly demanded the VENGEANCE OF GOD,
That himself, and not BURKE, might be be scourg'd with a rod,
If the Story BURKE told was not perfectly true,
And the whole of the Cruelties HASTINGS'S DUE.
At length, when the HEARERS suppos'd he was come
To the Summary's end, he proceeded to sum
All the Summary parts, which affording no fun,
The whole COURT was rejoic'd, when he said "I HAVE DONE!"
But now I must tell you, that this Revolution,
The HIGH COURT OF PARLIAMENT'S new Dissolution,
May probably alter both Measures and Men,
And that HASTINGS may never be badger'd again;
GREAT EDMUND declares, he is sorry to see
The Sport is not relish'd in equal degree;
That tho' he shall always be willing and able,
A new dish of Corruption to set on the table,
Yet their LORDSHIPS, of late, are in stomach so cloy'd,
That none of his dishes are highly enjoy'd:
Besides, BURKE has taken it into his head,
That such LETTERS as SIMKIN'S ought not to be read:
He has often exprest his surprize, that JOHN BULL
Should relish EPISTLES so stupid and dull.
From a taste so deprav'd, it was certain that JOHN
Was off at a tangent, and totally gone:*
But if this be the case, it is well worth our knowing,
Why JOHN so departed, and where he is going.
'Tis hinted that EDMUND despairs of recalling
The fugitive JOHN by additional bawling;
And, therefore, to save the whole PARTY from laughter,
May suffer the PRIS'NER to slumber hereafter;
But supposing the TRIAL, some dozen weeks hence,
Once more should, according to order, commence,
Be assured, I shall always be ready to send
The proceedings thereof to my BROTHER and FRIEND.
*Mr. BURKE said, in the HOUSE of COMMONS, that their suffering such sacred SPEECHES as his to be ridiculed, was a certain sign that the Nation was gone.
SIMKIN.
World Nov. 1. 1790
THE Public, like us, will find great reason to rejoice at the re-appearance of SIMKIN, and if he fulfils the promise made in the two last lines, the REVIEWERS may save themselves the trouble of criticising on Mr. BURKE'S late Composition.
SIMKIN to SIMON.
IF SIMKIN, of late, has been lazy and idle,
'Twas because EDMUND'S clapper was under the bridle;
For, except when the HOUSES of PARLIAMENT sit,
No occasion occurs for displaying his wit.
But now, lest he should be forgotten by men,
He excites their attention by using his pen:
You know, since he left Academical Teaching,
He has busy'd himself with Political Preaching,
And of late spent the most of his time in IMPEACHING.
Howe'er, as that bus'ness is probably ended,
Or, at least, till the PARLIAMENT meets, is suspended-
His fortune and fame he expects to advance,
By Impeaching the NATIONAL COUNCIL of FRANCE.
His book, which had oft' been announc'd to the town,
This morning I bought, and it cost me a crown,
Which being too dear for the sending you down,
The substance thereof I intend to rehearse
(As I frequently do of his Speeches) in verse.
It seems a French Gentleman ask'd BURKE'S opinion
Of the late REVOLUTION, and Change of Dominion?
To which BURKE reply'd, You, perhaps, may suppose,
That I also am one of the number of those
Who approve of your conduct, because certain Scrubs,
Which form two Societies, alias CLUBS,
The one for protecting our good Constitution,
The other for praising the last Revolution,
Have express'd, in a letter, their warm approbation,
Thus giving your actions their sanctification:
But before the Two Clubs I proceed to describe,
Give me leave to deny being one of the tribe.
The CLUB CONSTITUTIONAL, seven years old,
Is for buying up books which would never be sold,
And, for charity's sake, to give free circulation
To Political Pamphlets all over the Nation;
And 'tis likely that some of those Pamphlets, by chance,
Not saleable here, may be vended in France;
And as liquors grow better by crossing the ocean,
The books may derive much advantage from motion;
But here I am certain, that no information
Has been drawn from this good-natur'd Association.
Thus much having said of the CLUB CONSTITUTION,
I now have to speak of the CLUB REVOLUTION:
This last all their honour and consequence owe
To the praise your ASSEMBLY were pleased to bestow,
And now are a mere SUB-COMMITTEE, to spread
The doctrines deliver'd by you, as their head:
This CLUB, of whose name I had never heard mention,
And which never excited the smallest attention,
Consisted of certain fantastical Thinkers,
DISSENTERS by name, in reality DRINKERS,
Who an annual sermon procur'd from a Vicar,
By way of excuse for indulging in liquor;
No Nation I theme ever enter'd among
These men, save the Bottle, the Glass, and the Song;
And whilst from this custom they never departed,
No sober objection could justly be started;
But now, after farther enquiry, I find
Some political men, of a true Christian Mind,
Have lately crept in, for the good of the Soul,
Concealing the hand which distributes the dole.
By the bye, my dear SIMON, most people suppose
These true Christian men are the CHARLEYS and JOES,
Whose characters now EDMUND gratefully raises,
By way of compensating similar praises;
This trio of Worthies, like FUR and his brother,
Are beholden for character one to the other.
To return. - EDMUND says, that he is not a Paul,
A gen'ral Apostle, for preaching to all;
And his sentiments being of consequence great,
Must not be divulg'd without leave of the State.
Then he tells his FRENCH GENTLEMAN, he should expect
That our HOUSE of COMMONS would proudly reject
The most sneaking PETITION that ever was seen,
For an object however contemptibly mean,
If presented before them with such kind signing,
As appear'd to their COUNCIL so splendidly shining,
And which they accepted with equal parade,
Or greater, perhaps, than could well have been made,
Had our representative, MAJESTY all,
Condescended to visit, or give them a call.
But I should not, says EDMUND, have taken offence,
Had their paper contain'd either reason or sense;
For had that been the case, I am free to confess,
There might be conviction in't, nevertheless-
As it stands-'tis a vote, nay a mere resolution
Of unauthoris'd people, who love REVOLUTION:
Had they all put their names, one might judge of the number,
And distinguish sound pieces from that which is lumber.
Now EDMUND a small matter alters his strain,
And says, that himself is a Gentleman plain.
(But to make his sense clearer, I wish he had said
Whether plain in his person or plain in his head.)
That, from their proceedings, he's prone to suppose,
'Tis a juggle or trick very like some of JOE'S.
Then he flatters himself that mankind will agree
That no man loves Liberty better than HE;
Alluding, perhaps, to the freedom of speech,
When he speaks in the HOUSE, or is sent to impeach -
If so - WARREN HASTINGS and NORTH will agree,
That EDMUND is always exceedingly free.
Now, all of a sudden, the HERO takes flight,
And soaring aloft, he escapes from my sight;