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[Page 62]
It comes from a man who contention abhors,
Yet sports an opinion, and carries on wars:
From one who is always CONSISTENCY'S friend,
Yet varies the means to arrive at his end.
It comes from a man, who, by way of preserving
Consistency, often is guilty of swerving;
But then, he departs from Consistency's line,
For preserving the unity of his design.
This language, DEAR BROTHER, is rather obscure,
But its meaning, tho' latent, is certain and sure:
BURKE formerly thought, 'twas a very good thing,
To lower the pride and the purse of a KING;
He maintain'd that the STATE, the whole Church, and its Steeple,
Were nothing, compar'd with the RIGHTS of the People;
And that the resisting AUTHORITY ROYAL,
By AMERICAN REBELS, was perfectly loyal;
He said that the then HOUSE of COMMONS was venal,
And that NORTH ought to answer in damages penal:
He compos'd many Speeches and Books upon freedom,
In hopes that the PEOPLE of ENGLAND would read 'em,
And himself by the nose be enabled to lead 'em.
After forty years labour, he found that the cause
Of FREEDOM, brought nothing but windy applause;
That in spite of his long, unremitted endeavour,
His pocket remain'd just as empty as ever:
He therefore determines to enter the port
Of AMBITION, by praising the MEASURES of COURT:
Thus we see what he meant, when he said to his friend,
He would vary the means, to arrive at the end.
Should you ask, how the CRITICS in general look
Upon this lately publish'd, this laudable BOOK?
I should answer, the JUDGES in parties divide,
And that BURKE from himself does not differ more wide,
Than the sentence of those who presume to decide.
Some say, that the Book is Wonder of Wonders!
Some call it a Copia Verborum and Blunders;
Some say 'tis a garden of beautiful flowers,
Mix'd with hemlock and weeds, of mortiferous powers.
The BISHOPS all say, that its merit is such,
That it ne'er can be read, or commanded too much,
And they mean to translate it in German and Dutch:
And should some ORIENTALIST render the work
In Arabic, 'twould teach both the MOGUL and TURK.
A satyrical MAJOR, in company swore,
That EDMUND resembled a black HELLALKHORE;
Whose touch would a pearl or an emerald stain,
So much that no HINDOO could wear it again;
That whenever his purpose veracity suited,
The brightness thereof was by EDMUND polluted;
I can't, altogether, assent to this last,
For truth is no BRAMIN, and loses no cast;
However, this much, I am free to confess,
That EDMUND gives TRUTH such a highflying dress;
So colours and daubs her all over with paint,
That she looks like a HARLOT instead of a Saint.
An additional blunder I've lately detected,
Which, indeed, is no more than might well be expected;
DON BURKE'S Correspondent, so gentle and young,
Knows little, except his vernacular tongue:
Now the stile of this Book is so subtle and fine,
That he cannot discover the sense of one line;
And BURKE being ask'd to correct the mistake,
Has publish'd, in French, for the GENTLEMAN'S sake;
And thus that no Counsel that's good be mistated,
Our FRENCHMAN read ENGLISH OPINIONS translated.
SIMKIN.
SIMKIN, in the CITY of LONDON, to SIMON, on the MOUNTAINS of WALES.
YOU remember, dear SIMON, that Curate in Wales,
Who, among other Ecclesiastical Tales,
Inform'd us how ST. ATHANASIUS disputed,
Without either confuting, or being confuted,
With ARIUS, his Brother; when, lastly, agreed,
Each polemical Bishop to publish his Creed;
Just so have disputed our JOSEPHS, and FOXES,
And EDMUND, concerning the charms of their Doxies;
Great EDMUND, wound up to insanity's pitch,
Calls the Doxy of JOSEPH a Billingsgate Bitch;
Who, by spreading fate Tales, and creating suspicion,
Endeavours to stir up intestine Sedition;
That her aim is to throw all the world in a flame,
And that Hetero should be the termagant's name;
And the Doxy of CHARLES, he is apt to suppose,
Is a Vixen, as ugly, as wicked and JOE'S;
At the same time the Gentleman says, that his own,
Call'd ORTHO, 's a Doxy deserving a Throne;
But JOSEPH inflam'd, can no longer endure
His beloved to see in a Caricature,
And has, therefore, resolv'd on exposing to view
Her picture, in naked Simplicity true.
But now, my dear SIMON, by way of forsaking
This new metaphorical manner of speaking,
Let me tell you that JOE is preparing, with speed,
To exhibit in print his Political Creed,
Which bright emanation of knowledge divine,
Must illuminate such dark understandings as mine.
The work will be fram'd on the Moralist's plan,
As a kind of Political Duty of Man;
It will teach us, among other wondrous things,
The Rights of the People, and Duties of Kings;
And many more Rights, which I need not rehearse
Just now, as I mean to recite them in verse;
For most people think, that such writings as JOE'S
And EDMUND'S, read better in verse than in prose.
You said, in your last, that my Taffyland friends
Are anxious to know what my Hero intends;
You may tell them, that now he the house is beseeching,
For a seven year's leave to go on with impeaching;
And to PITT he will probably send a petition,
That he and the Council will grant him permission,
To bring WARREN HASTINGS once more to the Bar,
With whom he is willing and ready to spar,
Like HANNIBAL, swearing perpetual war:
And indeed, my DEAR FRIEND, these political men,
May justly be liken'd to JOHNSON and BEN,
MENDOZA and HUMPHREYS, who meet on a stage,
And without provocation each other engage.
I dreamt, t'other night, as I lay on my bed,
With BURKE and Impeachment possessing my head,
That a Member of Parliament suddenly rose,
All future proceedings to check and oppose.
He said, that the stories my Hero had told,
For the seven last years, had the Nation cajol'd,
And made them believe, for a very long time,
That HASTINGS committed some actual crime;
That thousands and thousands were lavishly spent,
Without even a chance of the promis'd event;
That three years had pass'd since the TRIAL begun,
And only three CHARGES were only half done;
That he strongly suspected 'twas one man's endeavour,
To make the said TRIAL continue for ever,
By way of providing for this and the other,
(Alluding perhaps to the GENERAL'S Brother);
That, even supposing the CHARGES were true,
The Pris'ner had suffer'd much more than was due;
But supposing no criminal deed were committed,
And that after BURKE'S death he were fairly acquitted,
What recompence then could his countrymen make,
To the man who had suffer'd so much for their sake.
Here the ORATOR waxing exceedingly warm,
And rolling about like a Ship in a Storm,
Gave his head a high pitch, and declar'd 'twas a shame
To defraud the keen hound of his long hunted game.
Eight years had the strong-scented, deep-noted PACK,
Pursued the wild BEAST through his long winding track;
And now he was just within reach of their paws,
Must they give up the chace, in obedience to Laws?
What Hunter's so dull, or what well-mounted Spark,
In pursuit of the game, would not break thro' a Park?
No, No - let us on, in Humanity's cause,
Regardless of Precedents, Customs, and Laws.
Whenever their LORDSHIPS appointed a day,
Did I ever once shew the least sign of delay,
Or the smallest intention of leaving my prey?
If the MINISTER does not begrudge the expence,
Why should not the TRIAL de novo commence?
If their LORDSHIPS complain they are weary of hearing,
Let 'em take by rotation the days of appearing;
Relieving each other, as Centinels do,
A method of trial, both useful and new.
And if on my Law, they place proper dependence,
The COURT may dispense with JUDGES attendance;
Nor need at the trouble my Colleagues repine;
They may sit at their ease, all the work shall be mine;
And as to the PRIS'NER, his crimes are so great,
That he never can suffer too soon or too late;
For actions so foul, so excessively wrong,
He cannot be tortured too much or too long.
Remember that shocking, that horrid abuse,
His receiving TEN LACKS for the COMPANY'S use;
His forcing CHEYT SING to contribute a share
Of expence, which he seem'd so unwilling to bear;
His advising the soft-hearted PRINCE to impose
On his MOTHER a fine for assisting his foes.