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[Page 22]
When the LORDS were Assembl'd, and set in their Places,
He rose up, brim-full of Theatrical Graces:-
"Permit me, my LORDS, ere I speak more at large,
To disclaim every Motive for making this Charge.
Has the NABOB complain'd? Is the Prisoner Accus'd
At the suit of those Ladies WE say he Abus'd?
'Tis the Cause of Mankind, led by EDMUND the Brave,
His object is MAN from Man's Baseness to save.
The MINISTER, PITT, says "the Treasury is drain'd;"
But all must admit they are much entertain'd.
However, I'd have it be well understood,
If we have any MOTIVE, 'tis certainly good.
My LORDS, you expect Proofs conclusive and strong;
But in that expectation, your Lordships are wrong:
From documents written, no proof can we draw,
Nor can any one swear-to what nobody saw.
I'm not pleading excuse for our failing in Proofs,
For tho' we bring none, we can make out enough;
I shall make out enough from the Pris'ner's Defence,
By giving my Meaning, and taking his Sense.
'Tis said, when the House a Delinquent Impeaches,
The MANAGERS should be correct in their Speeches:
That is, they should make a plain simple Narration
Of Facts well attested, without aggravation:
That Legal Chicanery should not assist
To give the Plain Sense an Ingenious Twist.
But, my LORDS, by your leave, the distinction I'll trace,
Betwixt Misdemeanour and Capital Case;
For unless we were certain your LORDSHIPS would Hang him,
The MANAGERS' Tongues claim a Licence to Bang him.
The PRISONER, my LORDS, under various pretences,
Has set up at times a long string of Defences:
My LORDS, there was one to the COMMONS address'd,
But that to your Lordships is reckoned the best.
It seems that the former was hastily pen'd
By those that would do it:-Acquaintance or Friend:
And as all common Men are but commonly wise,
For the COMMONS, a common Defence would suffice-
And finding our Charges divided and split,
Each Journeyman took what the MASTER thought fit.
My skill in Finance, Mr. SHORE, is your Lot:
My Consistence to prove, I rely upon SCOTT,
And on MIDDLETON'S Memory, when I've forgot.
He thought as the COMMONS themselves were deputed,
Our Party by Deputy might be confuted;
But now that your LORDSHIPS have call'd him before you,
At your Bar it behoves him to tell his own Story.
But, my LORDS, we object to this shifting of ground-
For the Conduct of Journeymen, Masters are bound.
Would it not be, my LORDS, most surprising and strange,
If EDMUND OUR CHIEF, his opinion should change?
If having persuaded the COMMONS to join
In the Vote, he should take up a different Line,
And say, "The Impeachment was YOURS and not MINE:
That he ever was HASTINGS'S friend in his Heart,
Tho' compell'd to accept of a MANAGER'S Part?
While SHERRY was speaking, I could not conceive
Why the Lords and the Commons all laugh'd in their Sleeve;
Why BURKE fear'd that SHERRY was out of his Track,
Why FOX'S sweet face look'd a little more black-
But since I have learnt, that the Picture he drew
Was the likeness of something that most people knew-
That BURKE and CHARLES FOX had conjointly brought forth
The very same Arguments-versus-LORD NORTH.
That CHARLES would not "trust his dear person a Minute"
Alone with LORD NORTH, so much danger was in it.
And BURKE, with Impeachments the House to supply,
Carry'd some in his Pocket, "cut ready and dry."
I am told, it has been his custom to take 'em
Wherever he goes, like a Priest's "Vade Mecum."
St. STEPHEN'S resounded with SCAFFOLD and BLOCK,
NORTH fell from the Treasury Bench with a shock.
"Throw a Bone to a Dog, and no longer he snarls,"-
So NORTH threw a Bone out to EDMUND and CHARLES:
That is, they determined, if PITT had not seen 'em,
To share all the Loaves and the Fishes between 'em,
From that moment have CHARLY and EDMUND agreed,
That NORTH must be honest and noble indeed!
BURKE searches for elegant Phrase to commend:-
And CHARLES is too happy to call him his Friend.
As SHERRY in speaking is fond of Precision,
He adopts the Theatrical mode of Division:-
That is, he arranges the Plot and the Facts,
And the Play will consist of a Number of Acts.
ONE ACT was gone through when the Post-bell was ringing,
Which unluckily puts a full stop to my singing.
Howe'er, if this Letter can add to your pleasure,
I'll send you another as soon as I've leisure.
London, June 4, 1788.
LETTER IV.
World June 12. 1788 [hand written]
From SIMPKIN the SECOND to his Dear BROTHER in WALES.
AGAIN, My Dear Brother, I take up the Quill,
My Debt to discharge, and my Promise fulfill.
Thus SHERRY began:-"Now, my Lords, I proceed
Some loose and confus'd Affidavits to read:
I'll allow to be true every word they contain;
But permit me their Meaning and Sense to explain.
My Lords, there was swearing by Foot and Dragoons,
By Vollies some swore, and some swore by Platoons;
These Swearings I call Sir ELIJAH'S Collection,
Intended to prove a well known Insurrection:
But, my Lords, you shall presently see me victorious
Over this Insurrection, however notorious;
After what I have said, Will the Counsel insist
That any Rebellion did ever exist?
This point being settled:-I now take my course
To ASOPH UL DOWLAH'S Attendants and Horse;
That he had 2000, the Counsel contended,
But that's a position that can't be defended.
My Lords, I insist that Two Hundred's the most;
The rest had deserted, were jaded, or lost:
Besides, I request it may not be forgot
The rate ASOPH travell'd, full gallop or trot:
And 'twas right that the NABOB should travel incog.
By post or by Doulh, without Baggage or clog,
To suppress. like himself, a Rebellion incog.
But I'll give them Two Thousand, with Baryhoes and Coolies,
With Elephants, Camels, with Hackrees and Doolies!
The Counsel some proof have endeavoured to bring,
That the BEGUMS lent aid to the RAJAH CHEYT SING
One Thousand Negeels - but I boldly avow
They were Fellows with Matchlocks, detach'd from LUCK-
NOW;
But where ever they came from, I care not about 'em,
For your Lordships shall see, in five minutes I'll route 'em.
SADUT ALLY, they say, in Conspiracy join'd,
And I ask'd Sir ELIJAH, why HE was not fin'd?
Sir ELIJAH, my Lords, gave a very good reason,
The Man who is Poor can't be guilty of Treason.
His safety was then to Insolvency due -
An Axiom, I find, incontestibly true.
My Lords, I shall prove this commotion and rising
Was not of my Ladies the BEGUM'S devising;
And the Eunuchs, poor creatures, so gentle and mild!
Are unable to injure Man, Woman, or Child.
Colonel HANNAY himself, I can prove, was the Man
From whose cruelties all the Disturbance began:
And this to establish, no Witness I call,
Save the elegant Letters of Naylor and Hall:
The BEGUM'S Jaghire Major Naylor march'd thro',
'Twixt the Goomty and Gagra his route to pursue,
Where for some little time his Battalions were halted,
Some RAJAH to quell, who, he says, had revolted.
This Revolt, I presume, must have been a mistake,
So I pass over that, for his Memory's sake.
But when to the country of Hannay he came,
He found nothing else but combustion and flame.
The Army of Rebels the Major o'erthrew;
He frighted their Heroes;-he wounded and slew.
These poor dying Wretches, that made no resistance,
He offer'd to cure:-They refus'd his assistance;
The Counsel may say, 'tis from Prejudice strong,
Those Men their existence refus'd to prolong;
That a Foreigner's touch would a BRAMIN pollute:
But Prejudice now 'tis my turn to dispute.
These Folks were from such foolish prejudice free -
They were Patriots, my Lords, of the highest degree:
They dy'd that their blood to their GODS might ascend,
Who till now to their cries had not time to attend!"
Four hours and a half, ere he came to a close,
Did SHERRY declaim on such topics as those:
He ended at length, with a Compliment fine
To BURKE, whom he stiled "something more than divine,"
For giving himself this occasion to shine.