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1785 Morning Herald
'Tis thou, Oh Clio I Muse divine,
And best of all the Council Nine,
Must plead my cause! - Great Hatfield's Cecil bids
me sing, -
The tallest, fittest man, to walk before the King!
. II.
Of Sal'sbury's Earls the First (so tells th'historic page)
'Twas Nature's will to make most wonderfully sage;
But then, as if too lib'ral to his mind,
She made him crook'd before, and crook'd behind,
'Tis not, thank Heav'n! my Cecil, so with thee;
Thou last of Cecils, but unlike the first; -
Thy body bears no mark'd deformity:-
The Gods decreed, and judgement was revers'd!
For veins of Science are like veins of Gold!
Pure, for a time, they ran;
They end as they began, -
Alas! in nothing but a heap of mould! lll
Shall I, by eloquence controul,
Or challenge send to mighty ROLLE,
Whene'er on Peers he vents his gall?
Uplift my hands to pull his nose,
And twist and pinch it, 'till it grows
Like mine, aside, and smal?
Say, by what process may I once obtain
A verdict, Lord, nor let me sue in vain!
In Commons, and in Courts below,
My actions have been try'd,-
There clients, who pay most, you know,
Retain the strongest side!
True to these terms, I preach'd in politicks for Pitt,
And Kenyon's law maintain'd against his Sov'reign's writ!
What tho' my father be a porpus,
He may be mov'd by Habeas Corpus,-
Or by a call, whene'er the State,
Or Pitt requires his vote and weight,-
I tender bail for Bootle's warm support,
Of all the plans of Ministers and Court!
lV
And Oh ! should Mrs. Arden bless me with a child,
A lovely boy, as beauteo is as myself, and mild ;
The little Pepper would some caudle lack :
Then think of Arden's wife,
My pretty Plaintiff's life,
The best of caudle's made of best of sack !
Let thy decree
But favor me,
My bills and briefs, rebutters and detainers,
To Archy I'll resign
Without a fee or fine,
Attachments, replications and retainers !
To Furies, Bench, Exchequer, Seals,
To Chanc'ry Court, and Lords I'll bid adieu :
No more demurrers nor appeals ; -
My writs of error shall be judg'd by you !
V
And if perchance great Doctor of Arnold should retire,
Fatigu'd with all the troubles of St. James's Choir ;
My Odes two merits should unite ;
[I] BEARCROFT, my friend,
His aid will lend,
And set to music all I write !
Let me, then, Chamberlain without a flare,
For June the Fourth prepare,
The praises of the King
In legal lays to sing
Until the rend the air,
And prove my equal fame in poesy and law !
* Rapin observes that Robert Cecil, the First Earl of Salisbury, was of a great genius, and tho' crooked before and behind, Nature supplied that defect with noble endowments of mind.
[I] This Gentleman is a great performer upon the Piano Forte, as well as the Speaking Trumpet and Jew's Harp.
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Simkin's Poetry
PROBATIONARY ODES 21. May
for the LAUREATSHIP.
No. VII.
O D E,
By WILLIAM WRAXALL, Esq; M. P.
I.
Murrain seize the House of Commons,
Hoarse catarrh their windpipes shake,
Who, deaf to travell'd Learning's summons,
Rudely cough'd whene'er I spake!
North, nor Fox's thund'ring course,
Noree'en the Speaker, tyrant, shall have force
To save thy walls from nightly breaches,
From Wraxall's votes, from Wraxall's speeches.
Geography, terraqueous maid,
Descend from globes to statesmen's aid!
Again to heedless crowds unfold
Truths unheard, tho' not untold:
Come, and once more unlock this vasty world -
Nations attend! the map of Earth's unfurl'd.
II.
Be, in the song, from where the Rhine,
The Elbe, the Danube, Weser rolls -
Joseph, nine circles, forty seas are thine -
Thine, twenty million souls -
Upon a marish flat and dank
States, Six and One,
Dan the dykes, the seas embank,
Maugre the Don !
A gridiron's form the proud Escurial rears,
While south of Vincent's Cape anchovies glide ;
But, ah! o'er Tagus, once auriferous tide,
A priest-rid Queen, Braganza's sceptre bears -
Hard fate ! that Lisbon Diet-drink is known
To cure each crazy constitution but her own.
III
I burn, I burn, I glow, I glow,
With antique and with modern lore ;
I rush from Bolphorus to Po,
To Nilus from the Nore.
Why were thy Pyramids, O Egypt, rais'd,
But to be measur'd, and be prais'd?
Avaunt, ye Crocodiles ! your threats are vail !
Or Norway's seas, my soul, unshaken,
Brav'd the Sea-Snake and the Craken ;
And shall I heed the River's scaly train ?
Afric, I scorn they Alligator band !
Quadrant in hand
I take my stand,
And eye thy rnoss-clad needle, Cleopatra grand !
O, that great Pompey's pillar were my own !
Eighty-eight feet the shaft, and all one stone !
But hail, ye lost Athenia s !
Hail also, ye Armenians !
Hail once ye Greeks, ye Romans, Carthaginians !
Twice hail ye Turks, and thrice ye Abyssians !
Hail too, O Lapland, with they squirrels airy !
'Hail, Commerce - catching Tipperary !
Hail, wonder-working Magi !
Mail Ourang- Outang ! Ha l Anthropophagi !
Hail, all ye cabinets of every state,
From pool Marino's Hill, to Catherine's empire great !
All, all have chiefs, who speak, who write, who seem
to think,
Caermarthens, Sydneys, Rutlands, paper, pens, and ink.
IV.
Thus, through all climes, to earth's remotest goal,
From burning Indus to the friezing Pole,
In chaises and on floats,
In dillies, and in boats,
Now on a camel's native stool,
Now on an ass, now on a mule,
Nabobs, and Rajahs have I seen ;
Old Bramins mild, young Arabs keen ;