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[Page 68]
Mr. BURKE's LETTER to a MEMBER of the NATIONAL ASSEMBLY.
DEAR SIR, your kind Letter came safely to hand,
And with infinite pleasure I now understand
That the LETTER I publish'd, concerning your nation,
With some few exceptions, has your approbation;
For such approbation my vanity raises
To a much higher pitch than unqualify'd praises.
The former encourages labour, the latter
Is apt to mislead, and our vanity flatter.
Some few of the errors you thought fit to mention,
Are really such, and deserve my attention;
And one of the many which you have detected,
You'll find in the present edition corrected:
But as to the cavils which some on your SPARKS
Have rais'd up against my ingenious Remarks,
With regard to your new CONSTITUTION'S GRADATIONS,
They affect not the substance of my OBSERVATIONS;
For if in the ladder of Representation,
Of two or three rounds you should make augmentation,
Or diminish that number, no change will be found,
By the adding or taking away of a round;
PAROCHIAL TYRANNY being the prop,
And FEDERAL ANARCHY being the top.
I publish'd my thoughts upon your Constitution,
To warn our own people against Revolution,
And 'twas therefore I ridicul'd your execution.
I resolv'd on exposing the ARCHITECT'S tricks,
Not those of the Mason, or Layer of Bricks;
I could not spare time for an investigation
Of bungling amendments, or worse alteration,
Which furnishes nothing, except this conclusion,
That promise is falsehood and shameful delusion,
And productive of nothing but shame and confusion.
But, indeed, had I follow'd the many old changes,
I had made a GAZETTE full of serpentine ranges;
A Journal of Marches from Error to Error,
Through a wilderness dark, full of horror and terror.
This maxim, indeed, I unchangeably hold,
'Tis wrong to impoverish GENTLEMEN old;
And to me it appears unaccountably strange,
That an EMPIRE should into a Vestry change,
Or Collection of Vestries - or that any Nation
Should be under Parochial Administration;
And I think that the project is not worth a farthing,
To trust to a CONSTABLE, or a CHURCHWARDEN,
Who are generally led by ATTORNIES and JEWS,
By prostitute WOMEN, from Brothels and Stews,
By Apprentices saucy, by Shop-boys, and Clerks,
Hair dressers and Fiddlers, and hop-skipping sparks;
These vagabonds idle, will outwit their betters,
Who are sober and fat, and know nothing of Letters.
This project, I tell you, must needs be productive
Of nothing but mischief, and very destructive;
Some few POLITICIANS, perhaps half a dozen,
Of sly crafty villains intending to cozen,
Invented this scheme - but were that not the case,
It is so low-minded, so mean, and so base,
So stuped, so wanting in wisdom and grace,
That I look on Amendment, or any corrective,
As likely to make it more grossly defective;
For it lies under this parodoxical curse,
That making it better, is making it worse.
I know that some people are apt to suppose,
That they who occasion'd your misery and woes,
May be angry with what we ARISTOCRATS write,
And may do something worse out of malice and spite;
But such apprehensions would lay a restraint,
Upon groaning and grunting, and making complaint.
But I do not, at present, advise a recourse,
So weak as you are, to the using of force;
Because I am certain you would not prevail,
And shame always falls upon REBELS who fail;
But though for RESISTANCE this is not the season,
We can suffer no loss if we hazard our REASON;
My REASON can suffer no damage or shame,
And all other matters will still be the same;
It's detection to publish, at home and abroad,
Is an antidote sure for the poison of fraud;
That the fraud will be swallow'd, may well be expected,
More greedily too for the being detected;
But as neither our principles, nor dispositions,
And, perhaps, not the talents of us politicians,
Will permit us to raise a thick mist of confusion,
Or conquer deception with greater delusion;
With the use of our REASON we must be content,
And e'ev take our chance for a lucky event;
These reason-proof FELLOWS will not be the worse,
Or better, supposing we bless them or curse;
For I very well know, at the time they began,
They had settled their wicked detestable plan.
These Butterflies now spread their wings to the Sun,
Which were mere Caterpillars when first they begun;
The very same ANIMALS now make a route,
Which were formerly REPTILES and crawling about.
For the WORLD.
SIMKIN, as it is suspected, being forbid by the MANAGERS to record the SPEECHES of Mr. HASTINGS's COUNSEL, another CORRESPONDENT of SIMON'S has undertaken the task of communicating to him and his Friends in WALES, the substance of Mr. HASTINGS'S DEFENCE.
SHONNY UP REES in Town, to SIMON in WALES
AS SIMKIN no longer the TRIAL attends,
But lives on the hills with his Taffyland Friends-
Methinks, 'twere consistent with justice and sense,
That some other BARD should record the defence;
And tho' SIMKIN may look on causidical men,
As subjects unfit for his laugh-moving pen;
Yet, I think, that at least 'twere a compliment due
To the Public, Dear SIMON, as well as to you,
To shew how these white-washers rub off the dirt,
Which EDMUND threw on with his shovel and squirt.
I shall, therefore, no further apology make,
For the hazardous office I now undertake.
You must not expect that diversion and sport,
Which formerly us'd to illumine the Court;
For LAW, who has open'd and leads the defence,
Has scarcely one spark of phlogistical sense;
He's a LAWYER, deep-learn'd, and very exact,
And extremely averse to mis-stating a fact;
And when no demonstrative proof can be brought,
Rhetorical flights he considers as nought.
After deeply lamenting the tedious delay
(Not less than five years) he rejoic'd that the day
At length was arriv'd, for restoring the fame
Of HASTINGS and BRITAIN, both wounded the same.
Then he ventur'd to throw out a hope, that the Peers
Would pluck up their patience, and lend him their ears.
" 'Twas strange that his CLIENT, of weak constitution'
"Had weather'd five years of severe persecution."
To a Lawyer this must be surprisingly odd,
But familiar enough to the Fathers in GOD;
For I saw by their looks, that these Scriptural men
Were thinking of LIONS, of DANIEL and DEN,
of ABEDNEGO, SHADRACH, and MESHACH, the JEWS,
Who walk'd in the fire, without scorching their shoes.
There Lions and furnace did INNOCENCE brave,
Here Virtue did HASTINGS from CERBERUS save:
Then he paid to the MANAGERS compliments fine,
Whose Talents are great, whose Abilities shine:
But his manner of speaking, it must be confest,
Would bear the construction of Earnest or Jest.
At their Bellies he look'd, when he used the word Able,
Alluding, perhaps, to their feats at the Table-
Most of them, indeed, appear thin and rapacious;
But the belly of FOX is extremely Capacious.
Then from MONTESQUIEU, GIBBON, he read some Extracts,
To refute some of EDMUND'S historical Facts;
Which Facts (one or two) I think proper to mention,
As I wish to do justice to EDMUND'S invention.
BURKE once told the COURT, that, till HASTINGS'S time,
There was scarce such a thing in the East, as a Crime,
And that should any man the comparison draw,
'Twixt HASTINGS and TIMUR, or e'en NADIR SHAW,
He would find the two latter were Babies of Grace,
And honour conferr'd on their station and place.