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[Page 67]
Then he said a great deal about base peculation,
And that on a bulwark he'd raise a foundation-
That while HASTINGS the arm of oppression extended,
The COMPANY'S cash he profusely expended-
And that he committed a terrible fault,
As himself and his friends, and the COMPANY thought,
In giving a GENERAL more than he ought-
That gallant COMMANDER, who life disregarded
In the cause of his Country, too highly rewarded.
Then ST. JOHN, in order, proceeded to state,
That HASTINGS'S zeal for his MASTERS was great,
And that, for their use, he monopoly made
Of Opium, which prov'd a most lucrative trade:
But in giving his contract, he did not consider
The COMPANY'S custom, to take the best bidder.
Then the ORATOR told us, he meant to impeach
WARREN HASTINGS, for having committed a breach
Of a Law, which the MONARCHS of CHINA had made,
And that Opium was held a prohibited trade;
And the PRIS'NER, he said, was not only a juggler,
A spendthrift, and robber, but also a smuggler.
Then he talk'd a great deal about bullocks and rice,
And that HASTINGS allow'd an extravagant price;
Thus the COMPANY'S cash to base JOBBERS was giv'n,
Whilst the Monarch CHEYT SING from his Kingdom was driv'n.
Some hearers declared, 'twas a very strange thing
For a lost Zemindar to grow into a King;
But they did not consider that CHEYT SING'S promotion
Arose from Don EDMUND'S Monarchic devotion;
Who says, that compassion is properly shown
To none except KINGS who are hurl'd from the Throne'
And from this exception excepting his own.
Then ST. JOHN concluded a speech neither long
Nor in Epithets Burkish exceedingly strong,
With confessing his faults, and expressing his trust
That EDMUND would be in severity just.
Then HASTINGS rose, and thus a speech begun:-
"My LORDS, four years are now completely run
"Since to your Bar a PRIS'NER I was brought,
"To answer all my FOES conceiv'd a fault.
"My LORDS, upon your justice I rely'd,
"And when accus'd, I thirsted to be try'd;
"Conscious within of never meaning wrong,
"My CONSCIENCE made me confident and strong:
"My Fate, I knew, I might with safety trust
"To you, my LORDS, because I know you just.
" 'Twas, therefore, when my conduct was arraign'd,
"The base set-off of merit I disdain'd;
"But how, my LORDS, could human mind foresee,
"That I for years must wait your just decree:
"Year after year that I must stand accus'd,
"And hear, without reply, myself abus'd:
"Depriv'd of ev'ry comfort I enjoy'd,
"My FORTUNE ruin'd, and my FAME destroy'd:
"Ev'n HOPE, the wretch's never-failing friend,
"Forsaketh me, for I can hope no End.
"No end appears to Persecution's woes,
"Unless this COURT in mercy interpose;
"Unless your LORDSHIPS will mercy save,
"Must Persecution drive me to the Grave.
"How can a man of threescore years of age,
"With Persecution endless warfare wage?
"My LORDS, I do not ask you to acquit;
"Whate'er your judgment be, I will submit:
"I only ask (what never was deny'd
"By any Court of Justice) - TO BE TRY'D.
"This only boon, I from your LORDSHIPS pray,
"The TRIAL to proceed without delay.
"Once more again your LORDSHIPS I conjure,
"No longer let my MISERY endure;
"No prorogation, no adjournment be,
"Until the COURT hath SENTENCE pass'd on me."
Here HASTINGS clos'd, and BURKE with scowling eye,
Much agitated, rose to make reply:-
"My LORDS, the said GENTLEMAN we have accus'd,
"Complains to your LORDSHIPS of being abus'd;
"I abus'd him, 'tis true, and I certainly wou'd
"Have abus'd him much more, if I possibly cou'd,
"And for the doing the same, I've a precedent good.
"Lord MACCLESFIELD having committed a fault,
"By the COMMONS of ENGLAND to TRIAL was brought;
"And those who conducted that LORD'S prosecution,
"Were greater than we are in harsh elocution:
"If the COMMONS of that day well batter'd the ears
"Of the CULPRIT, altho' he was one of the PEERS,
"This COMMONER can have no right to redress,
"His GUILT being greater, and DIGNITY less.
"He complains to the COURT of our hurting his NAME
"Of our wasting his FORTUNE, and tainting his FAME;
"All this may be true, but I cannot help thinking,
"Our character's equally tainted and stinking-
"And Foreigners say, that by HASTINGS'S case,
"Our good Constitution's brought into disgrace;
"And that they must hold in abhorrence those laws,
"That can to Eternity spin out a cause.
"But, my LORDS, those said FOREIGNERS must have forgot,
"Or if they remember, they mention it not,
"That the PRISONER before you, at various times,
"Has by me been accus'd of all manner of crimes;
"I took from the Dictionary all I could find,
"Unconscious of leaving the smallest behind:
"Now the TRIAL must needs be uncommonly long
"Of the Man who in all things has always been wrong."
When EDMUND concluded, I quitted the COURT,
For he only is able to give us much sport.
But before, my DEAR BROTHER, I lay down my pen,
I must tell you that EDMUND has written again
On the FRENCH REVOLUTION, in stile of abuse,
Which would serve very well for a FISHWOMAN'S use.
Now, I find by experience, this ORATOR'S prose,
In verses SIMKINION, so prettily flows,
That I mean, at my leisure, to make a translation
Of his Prose into Verse, with a fine Dedication
Of the WORK to the NATIONAL COUNCIL of FRANCE,
And thereby my own credit and BURKE'S to advance.
SIMKIN's DEDICATION
To the FISHWOMEN of PARIS.
LADIES,
As scolding makes a considerable part of your occupation, and as she who scolds with the best grace, and in the chastest language, will always enjoy the first honours of the market, so it is impossible but you must all unite in patronizing and encouraging any attempt to improve the science of Objurgation. It was under this conviction, that I resolved on translating Mr. BURKE'S Letter into Verse; and I had nearly completed the work, before it was suggested to me, that it was possible some among you might not understand English. That objection, however, may be easily removed, by prevailing on some one of the Poets of your Alley, to re-translate it into French Heroics. If it be asked, why I did not translate my original into French prose? my answer is, that all Mr.BURKE'S prose is, in fact, Poetry without Measure. And though it is generally allowed by my countrymen, that I rather improve his prose by my versification, yet I despair of doing it justice in any other language. I need not point out to you the advantage you will derive from this publication, whenever you shall have occasion to scold the NATIONAL ASSEMBLY, to whom it is peculiarly applicable, and against whom it was originally directed.
I have the honour to be,
LADIES,
Your obedient servant,
SIMKIN.