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[Page 46]
With a flea in each ear, their Lordships
Adjourn, o'erwhelm'd with sorrow,
And in fierce debate stay out too late,
So return not till the morrow.
These delays breed drink and vittle,
To keep BROTHER DICK from starving:
Ten pounds a day-and nought to pay-
Rare meat of EDMUND'S carving!
BURKE penn'd a verbose epistle,
Which set all the COMMONS snoring:-
Saying the time was come to strike HASTINGS dumb,
With the Gospels of one Saint GORING.
But the Gospels and Ruffian Apostle
Were scorn'd by the PEERS, and strangely hist;
And Jesuit BURKE was deem'd a Turk,
Who relied on a false Evangelist.
Then he rail'd against Munny Bhagum-
"As an Old Whore past enjoyment;
"Who thought no sin to retail Gin,
"To make up for lost employment.
"This same hag was keen as a razor,
"In spite of her Indian Jargon;
"For three Lacks down she hir'd a crown,
"And got a Nabob in the bargain."-
No marvel EDMUND thunder'd
At this wicked job's contriver;
For HASTINGS sole touch'd all the cole-
And BURKE got never a stiver.
Nay, in spite of all GORING'S blust'rings,
NUNCOMAR'S and GOURDASS'S perjury,
The wrinkled old witch would never peach,
And call'd the whole tale a forgery.-
But which of them lies or true is,
With EDMUND is ne'er the question:
He rejects or admits by the state of his wits,
And follows the Moon's suggestion.
So here's Heav'n bless Impeachment!
May it last ad infinitum!
God send Nabobs with more such jobs-
And raise up BURKES to smite 'em!
SIMKIN.
World Oct. 20. 1789
ECCE ITERUM !- SIMKIN again! and as pleasant as usual.
SIMKIN in LONDON, to his BROTHER SIMON in WALES.
SINCE the day that I animadverted on P-R,
That bright theologo-political Star,
No subject for writing has fall'n in my way;
So I rested-because I had nothing to say.
But now, my dear Boy, by the blessing of Fate,
I have got an occurrence or two to relate.
You must know, thro' the City a rumour was spread,
That the Parliament soon wou'd be legally dead;
The WHIGS, hearing this, in a state of dejection,
Assembled to settle th' ensuing Election;
And whilst they were stating and solving their doubts,
As to who'll be the IN'S, and who must be the OUT'S,
The veteran Orator was not forgot-
That is-whether BURKE be re-chosen or not?
Then JOSEPH rose, and thus a speech began:-
"We've had sufficient of this prating man;
"The justly hated name of EDMUND draws
"A gen'ral odium on the fairest cause.
"The Nation once, by pompous sounds misled,
"Implicitly believ'd whate'er he said,
"And thought his heart much better than his head.
"But now the WORLD his head and heart attack,
"And say the one is weak-the other black;
"With all his actions men are now acquainted,
"His private character is also tainted,
"St. Omar's Jesuit is at length unsainted:
"His friend, the MARQUIS, long before he dy'ed,
"Repentant, cut the knot, his blindness ty'd:
"LORD V------Y too, found reason to regret
"That patience which illegalizes DEBT;
"His pious zeal against a great NABOB,
"Is now consider'd as a pilf'ring JOB;
"A dish of gravy-meat of EDMUND'S carving,
"To feast himself, and keep poor DICK from starving:
"His foolish triumph, shamefully exprest,
"Resentment kindled in each loyal breast;
"The cause, the sole detested cause, was he,
"That we were lately burnt in effigy:
"In detestation, we have long been held,
"And must remain, 'till EDMUND is expell'd.
"The sicken'd Senators, when EDMUND prates,
"Some stay to hiss, while others quit their seats.
"From him a stream of pompous nonsense flows,
"And serves the cause he labours to oppose:
"His numerous blunders in a recent case,
"Have fix'd on us indelible disgrace:
"A motion now I make, (let none resist)
"To blot his name from the dishonour'd list."
He ceas'd-- and MONTAGUE arose to speak:-
"I grant his heart is black, his head is weak;
"But still I think reason might be giv'n,
"Why from the Party BURKE should not be driv'n.
"He is, you must allow, an useful Butt,
"For Wits to fire upon, to slash and cut:
"A scape-goat he, the Party's sins to bear,
"Of which friend JOE commits an ample share.
"Should BURKE a patriotic life forego,
"The shaft of Ridicule might fall on JOE;
" 'Tis hard to say, should men their conduct scan,
"If BURKE or SURFACE be the fairest man."
Here ended MONTAGUE-and COURTNEY rose,
With ever-welcome wit, to interpose:
"The Chief who spoke first, and the Chief that did follow,
"Are ORACLES equal to those of APOLLO;
"With SURFACE, indeed, I am free to admit,
"That EDMUND is worth twenty Members to PITT;
"That the name of St. EDMUND'S sufficient to tarnish
"All the colours of FOX, and all SURFACE'S varnish:
"Notwithstanding all this, I'm unwilling to scout him,
"Because we may probably fare worse without him;
" 'Tis prudent to sacrifice wrinkle-born'd Rams,
"To save from the Altar sweet innocent Lambs.
"Should BURKE be discarded, as MONTAGUE noted,
"Some victim or other must soon be devoted;
"The well-meaning CHARLES, or the innocent JOE,
"Must feel the sharp lash of some libellous foe;
"The writer of news must have food for his pen,
"To raise entertainment for scandalous men:
"The follies of BURKE are many and glaring,
"His actions so wild, and his Speeches so daring,
"As to yield constant matter for wonder and staring."
Here CHARLEY, whose words are more weighty than lead,
Observ'd, on both side a great deal might be said;
That he had not as yet fully made up his mind,
If to help him along, or to leave him behind.
Here this Letter ends, but whenever these men
Shall agree on this point, I will write you again;
In the mean time, I fear, if BURKE is not re-chosen,
My Pen will be pointless, my Ink will be frozen.
SIMKIN.
World Oct 20. 1789.
ECCE ITERUM !- SIMKIN again! and as pleasant as usual.
SIMKIN in LONDON, to his BROTHER SIMON in WALES.
SINCE the day that I animadverted on P---R,
That bright theologo-political Star,
No subject for writing has fall'n in my way;
So I rested-because I had nothing to say.
But now, my dear Boy, by the blessing of Fate,
I have got an occurrence or two to relate.
You must know, thro' the City a rumour was spread,
That the Parliament soon wou'd be legally dead;
The WHIGS, hearing this, in a state of dejection,
Assembled to settle th' ensuing Election;