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[Page 42]
I could prove that a MAN, who his youth has expended
In serving his Country, who bravely defended
Her posessions in times of most imminent dangers
From ill-judging Colleagues, and quarrelsome Strangers,
Should, when he can serve us in no other way,
Amuse and divert us - instead of a Play.
The high-polish'd ATHENS, whene'er she beheld
A subject, whose zeal in her service excell'd
His equals, with justice that subject EXPELL'D.
And that mode of treatment was certainly wise,
Howe'er it may seem in HUMANITY'S Eyes.
Yes, yes, my Dear SHENKIN, there once was a time
I Ingratitude held a detestable crime;
When I saw the distress of a poor fellow-creature,
I us'd to give way to the feelings of Nature.
But since I've convers'd with political HEROES,
Who are TITUSES often, and frequently NEROES,
I am fully convinc'd that in ev'ry condition,
We should study that only which serves our AMBITION,
Or adds to our pleasure; and hence I confess,
I look on the whole as a contest at CHESS.
When BURKE his Game forward endeavours to bring,
LAWE advances a pawn, and gives check to his King;
BURKE covers his King, PLOMER instantly sees
An advantage - and, lo! EDMUND'S Queen is en prise.
BURKE rallies his men, and prepares for the fight,
DALLAS whispers a move, and BURKE loses a Knight.
BURKE speaks in a circle, it proves of no use,
It suggests the idea of playing at Goose.
And hence inexhaustible pleasure I find,
Whilst a thousand comparisons rise in my mind.
You speak of my Chief, as of BRESLAW and JONAS,
Or a strange Patentee, and his grasping a bonus.
You talk of Expences, whereby it appears
The report of new Taxes has work'd on your fears:
But tell me what room can there be for complaining,
When the cause of Expences is so entertaining;
And tho' my dear SHENKIN should never partake,
He ne'er should begrudge for his Relative's sake.
To conclude - With your numbers I really am smitten,
But like not the Spirit in which they were written.
In Letter the First, you accuse me of trying
To impose on the weak with fantastical lying;
In the Second, your feelings, for HASTINGS distrest,
And your dread with New Taxes of being opprest,
Have giv'n too serious a turn to your Letter,
So write not again till your humour is better.
World Aug 3, 1789
On Monday next will be published,
SIMKIN THE SECOND,
POETIC RECORDER
TO THE
TRIAL OF MR. HASTINGS.
In a SERIES of LETTERS.
Originally Published in the PAPER of
THE WORLD,
And now Re-published and Corrected by their AUTHOR.
With SEVEN ADDITIONAL LETTERS.
Which include at present the whole IMPEACHMENT.
-----I----- curre per Alpes
Ut PUERIS placeas et DECLAMATIO fias.
Enlighten'd Statesman! go through toil and strife,
And for thy Country's good embroil thy life.
Go-mighty Warrior!-wide and wider roam!-
To come at length and be abus'd at home.
Printed for J. STOCKDALE, Bookseller, Piccadilly.
World Aug 13, 1789
SIMKIN.
PAR Pari Referto.
The AUTHOR above, fortunately for the Public, has just started new Game. It is that of an Old Fox, whom he is driving out of cover; but who is so far unlike that animal, that he carries his bush upon his head.
SIMKIN to SIMON in WALES.
Be assured, my dear BROTHER, whene'er I have leisure,
I shall always be happy to add to your pleasure,
And since you solicit them, such as they are,
I will give you my own observations on P-R.
You know for two seasons, I've try'd every art
To conciliate and soften the ORATOR'S heart;
But, alas! I have long unsuccesfully toil'd
And in all my endeavours been constantly foil'd;
I resolv'd to examine the cause of my failing,
And the secret find out of the DOCTOR'S prevailing:
To my BOOKSELLER then I directed a note,
To send me the Book which the PEDAGOGUE wrote;
The moment I turn'd to the PREFACE, surprise
Forc'd its way to my brain thro' the pores of my eyes.
It presented an object uncommonly fine,
A most beautiful Picture-and almost divine!
Believe me, dear SIMON, no landscape in WALES,
Full of rivers and rocks, full of mountains and vales-
A more striking diversity offers to sight,
Than the Preface which P-R was so good as to write;
I'm convinc'd that DIVINITY only could speak
Such an elegant jargon of Latin and Greek;
Not a page but exhibits unnumber'd quotations,
From histories, poems, and ancient orations;
QUINTILIAN and HOMER, DEMOSTHENES, HUME,
Are work'd up in one panegyrical loom;
The texture displays the vast skill of the Weaver,
And gives him strong claim to the ORATOR'S favour.
I have heard that P-R'S Scholars, six days in the week
Were translating the HERALD to Latin and Greek,
Whose paragraphs choicest the Doctor selected
For his preface-the rest, he as lumber rejected.
'Tis a Work which the strangest of Chequers surpasses,
Whilst the diff'rence of style shews the diff'rence of classes.
But what you must think more miraculous still,
Is the depth of the PEDAGOGUE'S magical skill;
A hundred dead Authors he readily raises,
Who all sing together the MANAGERS' praises.
After all these exploits, is it longer surprising,
That SIMKIN should sink, whilst the DOCTOR is rising?
But as matter seems wanting to fill up this letter,
Perhaps, my dear BROTHER, may relish it better,
If instead of relating my own observations,
I give some examples of P-R'S Commendations.
You will find in page six, of the Second Edition,
P-R, speaking of BURKE with the deepest contrition,
Laments, that his friend is a specimen sad,
"Of FORTUNE once good, now deplorably bad."
The days he remembers, when EDMUND was young,
Those agreeable days, when Senators hung
On the long twisted rope of the ORATOR'S tongue.
But in danger of choaking, and weary of hanging,
They are now quite regardless of EDMUND'S haranguing;
And there's scarcely one Member who listens, altho'
His Oration partakes of the nature of Snow.
In the following page, P-R is certain and sure,
That BURKE leads the life of the True SIMON PURE,
And that all other men - as 'tis proper they should,
Must account for their conduct to EDMUND the Good;
But among the best traits he has noted in BURKE,
Is this-that in spite of the rascally work
Of Fortune, his dignity never can yield;
But tho' beaten and thump'd, still remains in the field;
And in all undertakings, tho' hooted and hiss'd,
His conscience approving, has made him persist.
There is one thing, perhaps, I hereafter may do,
Which, by way of a secret, I mention to you;
As my heroes esteem what is crabbed and cramp,
My writings next season shall be of that stamp;
Our Welch and their English I'll happily mingle,
Which like P-R'S Greek and Latin may prettily jingle;
And to render the sound still more striking and full,
From BURKE'S native Irish some phrases I'll cull;
With these I will now and then spangle my line,
And I question if P-R'S will look better then mine.
It is not, however, for me to expect,
Like him, to excite universal respect;
Greek, English, and Latin in gratitude join,
To the DOCTOR obliged, for his plentiful coin.
With Burkius and Foxius, and such pretty sounds,
As όί ΓαλλίϚοντεσ the Preface abounds;
There is one thing indeed which I cannot yet find,
Why PITT by ό δεϊνα is always design'd;
Nor do I suppose that the Doctor could tell,
Why Pittius for PITT, would not read just as well.
But the reason of this, ere I come to the end,
'Tis likely enough, I may well comprehend;
For indeed, my dear SIMON, 'twere fitting you know,
That I have not, as yet, read the Preface half through;
In Lexicons oft, disappointed, I seek
For the DOCTOR'S new coinage of Latin and Greek.
I must not forget to inform you, the style
Is a recipe good for the cure of the bile;
So, like Convalescents, who store up their pills,
I reserve it for bilious and splenetic ills.
Here this Letter ends, but in case my Dear BROTHER
Should the subject approve, I can send him another;