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Warrior at Sea March 21 1805
Thursday
My Dear Sir
You will I have no doubt kindly made every allowance for my not giving you a decisive answer on the generous & friendly offer you have made me respecting my occupying so advantageous as well as respectable situation as a Governor of New South Wales; and I am sure you will feel for one also under my family consultations with a Wife and six Daughters by letter on such a serious consideration between us; and which could have been settled in a day or two had we been together, whereas now, from my unavailing situation, not only a long post, but that being delayed by my being in the Fleet I am precluded from the necessary communication. In any way my Dear Sir that you may be concerned I shall ever feel deeply interested, and my undertaking any thing on that account, would be that you should have all your plans realized. I would not undertake it unless I was confident I should succeed, and so far your proposition is very much suited to my wishes to serve, if I can by any means make my great affection for my family, from whom my absence from them already has born me much down, at all reconcilable. At my time of life, which you fairly judge of, what a serious thing it is, you will allow, to take leave for ever of a Wife who has united her lot with mine for 30 years, which I think would be the case if I should go without her; and her undertaking the voyage I fear would be her death owing to her extreme horror of the Sea, the sound of a gun, or Thunder: Her nerves are so weak she is almost dead at any alarm and altho I believe few women are blest with more presence of mind or a more enlarged understanding, yet she has not for these ten years past & more been able to get the better of such alarms, or fear, even to be on board of ship with me for a few hours. What she