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Dear Sir Joseph
Your kind letter by Sir George Staunton has arrived at last. I would not have missed it on any account. What you so kindly and flatteringly say of me would have soothed me even if it had been my intention to give in without making a further attempt. But I cannot yet absolve myself tho' [though] I should gladly return to Europe I am determined so to act that not only my generous friends but even my enemies (if any I have) shall be convinced that I was in earnest. The state of affairs at Canton rendered it utterly impossible for an Englishman with any prudence to attempt on leaving in disguise from that part. I had conciliated the assistance of a Chinaman (but not one that I was sure would not betray me to the Mandarins, who angry as they then were with the English, would have given a great deal to have caught one tripping). I had accually bought merchandise, & given out that I was returning to Europe when the fresh exasperations induced those friends whom I had entrusted with my plans to deprecate my further pursuing them; they assuring me, particularly the Committee, that, as things were, they could afford me no protection in countenance whatsoever if I were caught. That I could have nothing but a very precarious assistance from underhand money. This, & want of faith in my conductor, who had a most villainous aspect, determined me to desist. In withdrawing my attention from Canton, I fixed it on the side of India & Ava [Burma]. My friends generously
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