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[Page 72]
than they, so determine to stick it as long as I possibly can.
We are hoping to be sent back to Lemnos to reorganise, as our Battalion is no more.
May 15
"Stand to Arms!" – nothing doing. Return to Quinn's Post. Hell of a noise on the right, though quiet where we are. "Lizzie" has not been coughing latterly, hear she has been sent home for repairs, but fear she has been sunk with the Majestic – how awful, for she has been one of our strongest supports during these terrible days.
May 16
Sunday. Suppose some more Hell again – all our biggest engagements have taken place on that day. I think if I am here much longer my reason will go – I do not seem able to get a grip of myself and feel utterly crushed and unmanned, though I shall try and stick it to the last. In my heart I know I am done – it would be too ghastly to bungle a message and perhaps cause the loss of the lives of many of these brave fellows. I thnk perhaps, now that I am no more use as a fighting unit, the wiser thing would be to get away for a little while – I do wish I could get wounded so that the matter could be decided for me.
May 17
I was much worse last night – am told that I was quite off my head. Am told to go down immediately to the M.O. but I will not do so until our Battalion is relieved which will be