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Sept 2 1798
Sir Joseph
If by my former letters it appears that I have valued my abilities, of what more than can be proved it was what I never meant; most likely you may take it from these words: "Trace me from the cradle to the present." &c. by this I meant the difficulties and fatigues I had laboured under. I acknowledge I am not a fit person for to decide this matter, for wherever enthusiasm appears, the mind is heated to an high degree. I can only state my opinion, but others must Judge. With regard to Bolton I well know that he is not without faults; but others that have seen him in person, and considered his capacity in life, are astonished with his abilities.
When you mention the language that I have used, and that you do not want to quarrel with me, over words that ought seriously to be thought at, I considered that you had altered your opinion, by which all the obstacles that I could think of, presented themselves in my mind, which caused a violent passion, whereby I instanly communicated them it to view; perhaps in some measure there may have been a wrong understanding, which might add more to the rupture. I am very sorry that I used such language, and humbly crave your pardon. I now drop it, for I do not wish to repeat any more, therefore I wish to bury it in oblivion.
Concerning a person going to new South Wales as a collector for His Majesty's Garden, I never heard mentioned untill I received your last letter. If it be only a knowledge of Botany Bay plants that are required, I would not wish for more than a fortnight to accomplish such an undertaking, provided I might do nothing else; but there are many other plants from that country in other collections, that are not at Kew. I have never seen any herbaceous ones from that part, except 3 or 4 at Mr. Curtiss.
What I am going to state, perhaps you may not have heard. A person that is employed in a Botanic Garden, is obliged by the lowness of the wages, is obliged to make use of occonomy in a manner that is unknown to most others; by this, most part of that, which is deemed leisure hours is took up, by which the chance of time for improvement is very small. I spent all my leisure time in the cultivating of my mind; for I thought if I applied such spare time in the same manner as my fellow workmen, I should make a less progress in
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