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[Page 52]
Gems
1."There's a furphy going round the Turks have chucked it & joined the Allies"
2."AW: that's nothing I'll give yer some dinkum. There was a black baby born in Russia three years ago and the little b------ never talked. The other day it sat up and told its nurse the war would finish in June. Then it dropped dead:"
1."AW: Gawd struck the little b----r dead for telling b----- lies!"
C.O.:- "You're charged with drunkenness. Were you drunk?"
Tucker Vienna:- Oui! Oyi!
C.O.:- 28 days F.P.N.Z. Compree?"!
Rout:- What's their game, wotcher do it fer Sir, I ain't no bomber I'm a slaughterman I've had no edu-b-acution."
McCormick:- I'll show yeu I'll march yeu yards any time yer cow'. I'll carry caut two blankets to your one and pack up, and march the b----a---- off you:"
28/4/16 Some of No. 10. having breakfast and sniper sent bullet right through sandbag scattering dirt on their food "You inconsiderate b------, wait till after breakfast yer cow".
Rout:- (Referring to tommy tunics) "They're too short, they're too short after wearing them loung Orstralian ones a feller 'll feel it across 'ees loins. Why when yer bend, the waist of it does for a collar".
"Squeaker" Dyson of No. 10 platoon has a high falsetto voice and is a constant visitor to sick parade. The other day attacked by nose bleed he was going round with nostrils plugged with cotton wool.
O.C. "Hullo, Dyson, what's the matter now eh"?
Squeak: "Oh. Sir, me nose won't stop bleedin'. I been to the Doctor & 'e says its too much rich food but I've gotter pain in my shoulder & carn't eat!"
It was an awful night and soaked and cold the men just off duty turned to their dugout, one entered and encountered the beady eyes of the filthy, corpse eating rats who infest the trenches. One glance was enough to tell him that the heavy rain had flooded their dugout and the blankets were afloat and muddy. His trite remarks reached those outside
1. "What's the matter Bill? What'cher grousing erbout eh?"
2. "Au'nothing! Did yer ever hear ther song "When their Sunset turns the Ocean's blue ter gold?" Yaors: why:
1. "Aw'well, orl yer want here is ther Sunset!"
Corporal: "What are you doing down here again"
Pte : "Well I was told to come down for something"
Corp : "Well I don't want you"
Pte : Well, he don't know what 'e wants but I've gotter obey Him".
The "French" of our men is very funny. One chap completing a march with heavy pack up and all his gear and then having to start pick & shovel work flings down his load with this remark – "Promenade new bloody bong!"